Denial
by Lady Charity
Summary: In a twist of fate, Izaya becomes the victim of another's mind game. His sisters' lives are at stake and any choice he makes could end in someone's death. It takes only one night for his entire world to be destroyed.
1. Chapter 1

**I'll just warn you all now that I know nothing about light novel canon, so if I get things wrong, I'm terribly sorry. I researched as much as I could but I couldn't get all the answers. I hope you still enjoy the story though...:'D. Partly influenced by an old kink meme request that I shall reveal later.**

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* * *

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For the first time in a long time since he could remember, Yadogiri Jinnai was cornered.

It all had happened so quickly that his brain barely had enough time to digest all the chaos thrown at him. He had originally thought he was safe from harm, since he constantly changed his appearance and voice, but when painfully familiar men began tailing him in the streets of Ikebukuro, he realized with furious horror that he had been discovered. Before he could even plan out an escape attempt, he was immediately surrounded by the same assassins he had worked with.

"Yadogiri!" a voice sang out, drawing out each syllable. Yadogiri stiffened at the sickeningly cheery voice, its merriment a poor disguise for the vehemence running underneath. His back was pressed against the brick wall; he was encased by a barrier of humans with eyes burning with vengeance.

Shiki stepped out of the semi-circle, his voice mockingly happy but his face twisted into a terrible grimace. Shiki and his voice seemed so detached Yadogiri could have thought that a ventriloquist was only using Shiki as a mouthpiece.

"Thought that you could _always_ get away from the Awakusu-kai, didn't you?" Shiki said dangerously. "How naively adorable."

He punched Yadogiri in the stomach without any warning. Yadogiri doubled over in pain, knocking into the wall. His hand flew to the back of his belt where he kept a loyal dagger, but Shiki took him by the shoulder, spun him around, and drove him face-first into the wall. He twisted Yadogiri's arm behind his back and knocked the knife to the ground.

"Your little magic disappearing acts didn't work out so well for you anymore, did they?" Shiki hissed. Yadogiri would have gritted his teeth in anger if his face wasn't rammed against the cold wall. He bit down so hard on the inside of his cheek that it bled. "It was always either me or the police, Yadogiri. You wouldn't have ever been able to elude the both of us for eternity."

He threw Yadogiri to the ground and clamped his foot on top of Yadogiri's head. Out of the corner of his eye he could see the members of the Awakusu-kai advance towards him.

"Who the hell ratted me out?" Yadogiri hissed, his lips grinding on the pavement.

"Someone who doesn't bend to the will of threats," Shiki growled, leaning more of his weight onto Yadogiri's head. Yadogiri nearly thought that Shiki's foot would go straight through his cranium, his brain and blood splattering on the pavement like a watermelon dropped from the roof of a building.

"Looks like none of your men are here to help you," Shiki said dryly. Without warning, the members of the Awakusu-kai fell upon Yadogiri. They feasted on sweet retaliation, striking every inch of his body with so much force that Yadogiri could barely breathe. Pain erupted in every nerve so that he couldn't even think or try to figure out how his incognito could have failed him.

"Stop!" he screamed—_begged_, even. He was answered with a vicious kick in the ribs. He was reduced to a sniveling, bruised punching bag blubbering for ridiculously disgusting mercy. "What do you want from me? Stop!"

"What do we want from you?" Shiki laughed, his laughter like jagged rocks. "Who said we have to want something from you?" He delivered a cruel punch to the jaw. Yadogiri's head collided with the ground and his sight was hazy. "We just want to reduce you to the muck you truly are."

Someone kicked Yadogiri against the skull and he jerked with pain. He drifted in and out of consciousness, his eyesight so hazy that all he knew of the world was blurred colors. He couldn't move and even tensing his muscles wracked his entire body with unspeakable pain. The blows lessened into nothingness as the Awakusu-kai backed off, satisfied with the beaten mess before them.

"What'll we do with him, Shiki-san?" a voice asked. Yadogiri could barely understand the voice; it was almost like a foreign language to his battered brain.

"Just leave him here to mold," Shiki grunted. "If he's found, it'll be by the police. We'd have killed two birds with one stone."

As Yadogiri was fluidly losing consciousness, he caught one last muttered utterance of Shiki.

"Call up Izaya and tell him we've got the bastard. Give him my thanks."

_Orihara Izaya_.

Yadogiri should have known that it was the informant.

Just as he was losing consciousness, Yadogiri felt not relief for an escape from his pain, but inexplicable, burning fury.

_Orihara Izaya_.

Yadogiri Jinnai was not one to let his enemies walk free. Orihara Izaya was no exception.

* * *

When the phone rang, Izaya didn't expect anything important. It was a lazier day today and all that he really brought himself to accomplish was brewing a pot of tea without even asking Namie to do it for him. Much less progress than usual and it was already seven in the morning.

So when he heard his cell phone chime its familiar music, he dived for it, craving for some sort of excitement. He checked the number and frowned when he didn't recognize it. Was it a new client? Or perhaps a tedious advertisement begging him to take a survey. He gave a small shrug to himself before flipping the cell phone open.

"Orihara Izaya speaking," he said lazily, sitting on top of his desk.

"Iza-kun?"

Izaya raised his eyebrows so high they nearly disappeared behind his bangs.

"Iza-kun, are you there?"

"…yes, I am," Izaya said carefully. No wonder he didn't recognize the number on the caller identification. He never bothered to save it in his list of contacts.

"Iza-kun! We haven't talked in such a long time! How are you?" the woman's bubbly voice rang in his ear. Izaya shifted awkwardly in his seat.

"I'm always fine. I take care of myself just fine," he assured her. In the background, Namie snorted with disbelief as she cleaned his kitchen.

"Are you eating well? I know how little you eat and that's not good at all, Iza-kun. You should gain some more weight—"

"Okasan, you didn't call me for the first time in months just to check on my eating habits, did you?" Izaya said, irritated.

"No, but Mother needs to check, you know!" Izaya's mother insisted.

"No, you don't," Izaya deadpanned. "I've been living by myself for quite an amount of time. If I'm not dead yet, I don't think the risk is too great."

"All right, I trust you, Iza-kun," his mother sighed. Izaya knew that deep inside, she didn't. "I have a favor to ask of you, and unfortunately my time is a little short."

"Hm," Izaya replied noncommittally.

"Your father and I have just been asked to go to a business meeting in Hong Kong. It's extremely urgent and we might be there for a long period of time."

"How long?" Izaya asked.

"Oh, we don't know yet. See, our business has a problem with its international affairs, says the letter. It could take us weeks."

Izaya didn't speak, waiting for his mother to tell him why she bothered to call him about this. He always knew that his parents were all over the world for business trips. It had been like that since his childhood.

"And we can't leave Mairu and Kururi to stay by themselves for such a long time—"

Ah, there it was.

"You've certainly didn't mind doing it before," Izaya said bluntly. He remembered times where he survived by himself for weeks when he was the twins' age.

"They're little girls, Iza-kun! What if something bad happens to them?"

Izaya giggled behind his hand. "Mairu takes martial arts classes. She's practically a black belt—perhaps ebony if she was allowed to use thumbtacks. Who would possibly mess with her?"

"Iza-kun, these are your sisters," his mother said sternly. "Please let them stay with you."

Izaya gritted his teeth. His mother had very little idea of what he did for a living. Having his sisters live with him would cause him many more problems.

"I'm going to prefer to decline," Izaya said.

"Izaya," she said. "Don't be so childish."

Izaya laughed, sitting cross-legged on the top of his desk. "It has nothing to do with immaturity, Okasan."

"Then what is it?" his mother demanded.

Izaya stopped laughing immediately. He bit his lip, trying to find the right answer for his mother.

"I wouldn't be the greatest of guardians," he said guardedly.

"Don't be silly. You've babysat them before," his mother pointed out.

_That was before I was an informant,_ Izaya thought to himself.

"Take them with you, why don't you?" Izaya said. "I can't take care of Mairu and Kururi."

"We can't. You know we can't, otherwise we would have taken you all those times before," his mother pleaded. Izaya suppressed a scoff.

"You should have asked Shizu-chan to take care of them," Izaya said dryly. "They'd enjoy that more than living with onii-chan."

"Who?"

"Never mind," Izaya muttered. He bit down on his tongue, measuring how the cons outweighed the pros by far. His computer gave a little chime and he checked his email. During the time he was talking on the cell phone, he had received five new emails from clients, demanding an appointment. Many of them were from the Awakasu-kai. He narrowed his eyes before closing his laptop before even opening the mail.

"They wouldn't listen to me," Izaya reasoned.

"They know to do what's good for them," his mother counterattacked.

"They hate me," Izaya tried to say.

"They don't _actually_ hate you. Sibling rivalry is common."

"We can't handle each other."

"It's only two or so weeks, Iza-kun."

_They aren't safe with me_.

The words nearly escaped Izaya's lips, but he caught himself before they came out. He took a sidelong glance at Namie, who was arranging his papers on the coffee table. What if it was too risky? He was usually one for risk, but only when he knew the outcome.

"…Drop them off at the park," Izaya finally said resolutely. "I'll pick them up there."

Before his mother could inquire, he shut off the phone.

"Oi, Namie," he said, tossing his phone onto his swivel chair. Namie raised her eyes up at Izaya. He slid off the desk, wiping away any telltale sign of discomfort or unease with a careless grin. "Go to the playground down near Raira, won't you? I need you to pick up some things for me."


	2. Chapter 2

**People are actually reading this story! I'm so happy~ I'd really, really love to know what you guys think of how the story is going :D. Please enjoy the next chapter! I apologize in advance; the build-up is rather gradual, but I promise that by chapter four things will be rolling down the hill at breakneck speed 8D. **

* * *

When he was still in high school, he always knew that living with Kururi and Mairu was a hectic experience. After graduating and living on his own, he looked upon living with the twins wistfully and warily, regarding it as familiar chaos taken for granted.

Now that he was back in the very beginning, with his twin sisters running around his penthouse, he wondered how crazy he must have been even thinking that.

"Kure-nee! Look, look!" Mairu jumped up and down, grazing her fingers across the many tomes shoved into Izaya's bookshelf. Izaya was thankful that he had quickly removed Celty's head from its usual place and hid it stealthily. "Do you really think Iza-nii reads all these, or does he keep them here just so that people only think he's smart?"

"Ah…" Kururi was in the kitchen, standing silently and awkwardly in the middle of the tiled floor. She opened up his refrigerator and dug through it, searching for something to satiate her cravings. Izaya had little worry about Kururi destroying his home; that is, unless Mairu was with her, which was ninety-nine percent of the time.

"Iza-nii! Your place is huge! Why do you keep it to yourself, ne? Here you are, living in a magnificent castle while your family rots and starves in a hovel!" Mairu laughed, skipping along the hallway. Izaya pretended to not hear here as he worked on his laptop.

"Why did there have to be _more_ of you?" Namie grunted, trying to plug her ears and concentrate on her work.

Izaya laughed. Living with the twins was a little more bearable now that he shared it with Namie. "Didn't I tell you that if even I couldn't handle them on my own, no one can? Right again, aren't I?"

"Shut up," Namie grumbled.

"You should bond with them more. Don't females like to cling to each other to pour out their hearts and emotions of love and depression to show off how much more of a tragic hero they are to each other?" Izaya smirked.

"You're insane," Namie said.

"But it's true. You'll be the one to escort them to and from school, after all."

Namie nearly dropped the cup of tea she was drinking out of. "When did this happen?"

Before Izaya had a moment to reply, a loud voice cut his words short.

"Iza-nii! Iza-nii! Where are Kure-nee and I sleeping?" Mairu demanded. She dragged her bulky black backpack full of her things on the ground. Kururi poked her head out of the kitchen, holding several grapefruits in her arms.

"You're sleeping in the last room to the right and Kururi gets the room on the left," Izaya said, not even looking up from his computer.

"But I want to sleep with Kururi!" Mairu said hotly. "You dare separate twins? How cruel of you, Iza-nii! You're trying to make everyone as lonely as you are, aren't you?"

Izaya typed a little more viciously on the keyboard. Namie let out a chuckle.

"I'm starting to like that girl already," she said.

"Let's see how quickly you'll stop singing that tune, shall we?" Izaya said. He looked up to face Mairu, who was attempting to climb the bookshelf upstairs. "Go get settled in your rooms, Mairu and Kururi. Nii-chan isn't going to do it for you."

"Let Kururi and I sleep together!" Mairu ordered, sticking her tongue out at Izaya.

"I don't want you to corrupt Kururi's mind," Izaya said, leaning back in his chair.

"It's already dirty enough!" Mairu giggled. "Come on, Kururi! Who needs to listen to Iza-nii, anyway?"

Kururi quietly obeyed, trotting up the stairs with her collection of fruit. Mairu grabbed her arm and skipped toward the room Izaya assigned for her, dragging Kururi along. When they disappeared behind a slamming door, Izaya immediately turned toward Namie, any sign of humor vanished from his face.

"Are you really serious about me escorting the girls everywhere?" Namie said grudgingly.

"Of course I am," Izaya deadpanned. "Now, they head out to school about seven in the morning every day. They end around three in the afternoon but they have afternoon activities. Mairu goes to martial arts class every Tuesdays and Thursdays directly after school until five in the afternoon, and Kururi likes to go to the gymnasium on Mondays and Fridays from seven in the evening to eight thirty—"

"I thought you told me they could take care of themselves," Namie protested. When Izaya gave her a questioning look, she raised her voice. "Like that time you said they might be bullied at school. You said that they wouldn't leave their persecutors alone. Why are you making me tail them?"

Izaya laughed at Namie and shook his head. "Oh, Namie, you really don't understand me when I speak to you, do you? Don't you see? Of course they can pick on people their own size."

Namie furrowed her eyebrows. "And your point?"

Izaya's laughter cut short. He leaned forward; much more serious and his voice much lower and quieter. "They shouldn't have come to live with me."

"I understand that you might not be too fond of them, but—"

"You're jumping to conclusions, Namie," Izaya said softly. "I suggest you stop doing that. Making fallacious assumptions only makes you look stupider."

Namie crossed her arms, affronted. Izaya continued on.

"People wouldn't care to attack two girls out of the blue just because they are there," Izaya said. "Not normally, anyway. Occasionally you'll have the disgusting brute craving carnal desires, but even then, the chances are thinner. Normally, the twins would just be regarded as two more faces in a sea of identities in Tokyo."

"What are you getting to?" Namie said, frowning.

"Namie, let me introduce you to Patience one of these days. People wouldn't think of specifically attacking Kururi and Mairu. Amateur bullies and delinquents, perhaps: the weak type of people who like to focus on the faults of others to overshadow their own flaws. Those Kururi and Mairu can smite quite easily."

Izaya gazed down at the desk, his fingers tracing unknown shapes on the smooth surface.

"But what would people do when they realize the infamous information broker actually has a family? Orihara Izaya, the shrewd informant without a soul in the world to keep him company, now has someone—in fact, two girls—tied to him by flesh and blood. It's the weak spot that yakuzas would die to have."

Namie quieted. "So you think that if people find out you have siblings, they might use that against you?"

"If you must dumb down everything I say, then yes, that's what I think."

Namie pursed her lips. "And before you barely ever talked or visited them."

"Your observation skills are impeccable."

"Stop acting so damn smart," Namie said harshly. "And here I was, thinking that Orihara Izaya cared for no one but himself."

Izaya's fingers twitched instinctively, but his face remained completely calm and emotionless. "Of course I'm doing this for myself. How would my parents feel if their precious angels were harmed because of me? I'd be signed out of their will immediately."

Namie scoffed and shook her head. "You're pathetic."

Izaya raised an eyebrow questioningly at Namie. "Money is quite a difficult thing to obtain—"

"Stop lying to yourself; you know it isn't true," Namie sneered. "You wouldn't care if you were signed off of their will. You probably have more money that the inheritance right now. Why do you force yourself into denial that you aren't invincible?"

"Of course I'm unshakable," Izaya said, grinning. "I'm not a fool that would bend to others' will because of weak spots. I don't have any."

Namie turned away from Izaya, still shaking her head and muttering 'pathetic' under her breath. Izaya giggled and returned to his desk, humming slightly to himself. When Namie was so engrossed in her work that she paid no attention to Izaya anymore, he let his mirth dissipate. He forced himself back into his work to push any weak thoughts out of his mind.

Of course he had weak spots. But that didn't mean he could be manipulated because of them.

* * *

It was all working so perfectly that Yadogiri felt like a god.

Granted, he still ached in the ribs, head, and legs where the cursed Awakusu-kai attacked him, but they all paled in comparison to the extreme triumph that pervaded through him. He watched the small park across from Raira Academy from afar like a hunter waiting for his doomed prey.

There were the two identical girls, waiting by the playground. One of them was swinging, flying so high that Yadogiri could have grabbed her even from the rooftop of the academy. The other watched her sister quietly on the slide, her knees drawn to her chest.

It took a while of waiting before a woman with long black hair appeared. The girl on the swing jumped off and landed lithely on the pebbles. The other twin slid down the slide and joined her sister. After what seemed like a moment of conversation, the twins picked up their bags from under a tree and followed the woman.

Yadogiri grinned. Just as he had expected. That meant Izaya was rather cautious about the whole situation after all. To think that all this was started by Yadogiri sending a harsh email from his company to the one that the Orihara parents worked for, and now everything was falling into place.

Orihara Izaya, the unshakable, the untouchable, the invulnerable, was doing just as Yadogiri wanted.

_Let's play, Iza-kun._

_

* * *

_

It had been a mere five days of living with the twins, and Izaya was quite relieved to find himself still alive and his home still intact. Admittedly, he rarely ever saw the twins during the course of the day. By the time they woke up to go to school, he had already gone out in search for new information. They wouldn't come home until dinner time and directly after eating Izaya forced them to stay upstairs while he had to deal with whatever clients that required his assistance in the evening all the way until the late hours. One meal a day was enough for Izaya; they were loud and talkative and troublesome enough to fill up an entire day.

Namie, on the other hand, had to deal with the twins most of her day. Judging by her gradually souring mood and the twins' excessive energy, their 'female bonding' was failing miserably. Izaya wished to know what exactly went on between his sisters and his employee, but alas, he barely had enough time to see either of them even separately.

"Iza-nii!" Izaya quickly closed his laptop as Mairu flew down the stairs, her braids trailing behind her like whips. "Iza-nii, guess what? Guess what?"

Izaya checked the time on his cell phone. Contact with one of the twins and it wasn't even dinner yet. This was new.

"What now?" Izaya said flatly.

"Don't sound so bored! We barely ever talk to you; you should be grasping at your chance!" Mairu protested.

"I'm not bored," Izaya said lightly. Kururi came down the stairs too with several coat hangers in her arms. Izaya raised an eyebrow questioningly at the elegant garb on the hangers. "Fancy." He nodded toward the dresses in his sisters' arms.

Mairu pouted, stomping a foot on the ground. "Do you even know what this Saturday is?"

"A Saturday," Izaya said simply, typing out a text message to Shiki on his cell phone.

"Wow, Iza-nii! You're so smart! You should win an award!" Mairu squealed mockingly. Izaya rubbed his temple, pretending not to hear Mairu. Shiki was supposed to come in for an appointment at night about some smuggled goods and in all honesty, Izaya didn't feel like dealing with it. Unfortunately, a job was a job.

"Well, then, what exactly are you so excited about?" Izaya asked.

"Hmm? Iza-nii doesn't already know? I thought Iza-nii was the all-knowing, all-powerful king of the city! I suppose I know something that Iza-nii doesn't!" giggled Mairu.

"There is enough information about Tokyo to know even without the petty details," Izaya shot back. Mairu narrowed her eyes and scoffed.

"You don't even care what we're so excited about," Mairu accused. "We've been trying to tell you about it all week but you've never given us a chance!"

"I barely ever saw you this whole week," Izaya pointed out.

"Because you keep avoiding us!"

"That's because—" Izaya was interrupted by the chime of his cell phone. He frowned and glanced at the caller identification. It read 'Masaomi Kida' across the screen. He sighed exasperatedly and turned to his sisters. "Look, you can tell me later, all right?"

"Negative (You'll never listen)…" Kururi murmured before scuffling away. Mairu stuck her tongue out at Izaya before following her sister into the kitchen. Izaya put his hand over his eyes before flipping open the cell phone.

"Masaomi-kun, what news?" he said sharply.

"I need to talk to you," Masaomi's voice crackled on the other end.

"Why is that?" demanded Izaya. "Too dramatic for the phone?"

"Look, I'm already heading to your place, and you will let me in," Masaomi said firmly. "It's about that Yadogiri man you told me to find information on a while ago."

"Ah," Izaya replied shortly. He turned toward the window that overlooked the entire city. His eyes searched the thin streets below him as if trying to spot Masaomi in the crowd. "How much longer until you're here?"

"I'm in the elevator right now," Masaomi said.

Izaya immediately shut his cell phone without bidding Masaomi goodbye. He furrowed his eyebrows in concern. What was it about Yadogiri that Masaomi was so urgent about? He thought that Yadogiri would have been dealt with ever since the Awakusu-kai got their hands on him.

"Mairu, Kururi, go upstairs," Izaya said briefly as he placed his cell phone back in its holder.

"Reason (Why must we)…?" Kururi asked.

"Because I've got to work," Izaya said shortly. Involving the twins in the tangled business did not sit well with Izaya. Even though it was just Masaomi, the thought of letting someone else know more about Izaya and his family than he was willing was sickening to him. Irony at its best. "Just stay in your rooms, all right?"

Kururi gave Izaya a reproachful glare before flying up the stairs. Mairu hurriedly followed Kururi upstairs, but not without giving Izaya a rude hand gesture. Izaya retaliated by ignoring her.

Almost immediately after the doors of their bedrooms slammed shut, someone banged their fist on the front door. Izaya hurried toward the door and wrenched it open. Masaomi, in such a flurried rush, stumbled inside, nearly knocking Izaya down to the ground.

"What's the news?" Izaya demanded, shutting the door behind Masaomi. He headed back toward his desk and opened up his laptop.

"Yadogiri…he's up to no good," Masaomi said, sitting in a chair in front of Izaya's desk. Izaya took a seat in his swivel chair, inserting his password into the laptop.

"I figured that much out myself, funny enough. Pray tell, do you know specifically what he is planning, or is that all you've actually discovered?"

"Of course I know more," Masaomi said a little indignantly. He rested his elbows on the desk. "Look, I've still tailed him after your—your Awakusu-kai people gave him a beating. He got found by some of his men, which was a stroke of luck, really. They patched him up and hid him for a while."

"Where did they hide him?" Izaya asked.

"In an apartment, near Heiwajima's place. I suppose since Yadogiri works with Ruri, who's dating Kasuka, who is Heiwajima-san's brother, there must have been some sort of connection…"

"I don't really care," Izaya said swiftly. "What else?"

"He's assumed a new sort of identity. This is stuff that Saki found out, by the way. Yadogiri's men might have seen me and it would have looked suspicious if they kept seeing me again. It's not exactly anything drastically new; he already had the Awakusu-kai release their anger on him, so all he has to worry about is the police."

Izaya kept his gaze on his and Masaomi's reflection on the glass window darkened by evening. He narrowed his eyes, wondering what it was that Masaomi was so concerned about.

"But now he's planning something," Masaomi continued, speaking so quickly that his words meshed together. "Saki and I see him making lots of phone calls and going to the same places over and over again."

"Like what?" Izaya asked.

"Our school—the Raira Academy," Masaomi answered promptly. "Shinjuku as well. He mostly hangs around Shinjuku and Ikebukuro."

The muscle in Izaya's jaw twitched with annoyance. Already the half-formed pieces fell neatly in place in his head. Yadogiri was an idiot, but he was an idiot that ran on spite.

"How crude," Izaya said quietly. He spun his chair around to face Masaomi. "Yadogiri is being naughty and wants to pay me back, doesn't he? How juvenile."

"He doesn't seem juvenile," Masaomi warned. "He still has his workers. He may not have the Awakusu-kai working with him anymore, but that doesn't mean he's completely alone. He's still rather powerful."

"Give a rich and powerful man a smack on the bottom and he'll hold it against you for the rest of his life," sighed Izaya, rising from his seat and making his way to the front door. "That's who Yadogiri is. He won't ever accept that what he got is what he deserved."

"Even if you say that about him, it won't stop him from doing—whatever he's going to do," Masaomi argued. "Maybe it'll make you feel better that you're dealing with a puffed-up man, but even the egoists can inflict a lot of damage."

"I know that," Izaya said lightly as Masaomi left his seat toward the door as well. Izaya still had the scar on his side from where Yadogiri stabbed him, though it marked his pride more than his physical body. "I still keep him under watch. _Very_ good job today, Masaomi-kun. My regards to Saki—"

Izaya noticed them falling down toward his head without even looking up. He immediately stepped to the side when a rain of thumbtacks showered down from the second floor. Masaomi backed away, slamming against the door to avoid the falling thumbtacks. Izaya gritted his teeth when he heard the all too familiar giggles from above.

"Mairu! Kururi!" Izaya growled, dodging several books that fell from the balcony.

"They're related to _you_?" Masaomi exclaimed, aghast as he remembered the twins from the Raira Academy. He barely dodged a binder. "I should have known!"

"Why don't you _leave_, Masaomi-kun?" Izaya said in a dangerous voice. Masaomi clung to the invitation and darted out of the door. A hefty binder fell on Izaya's head, making him stumble and crash into the wall. Mairu whooped in victory from above.

Izaya shook his head, trying to clear his dizziness. He raced up the stairs, his temper flaring like a flamethrower. The twins gasped and quickly dived into Kururi's bedroom, shoving the door shut behind them. When Izaya reached the top of the stairs, he realized that the walls were completely vandalized with black and red paint. Guilty paintbrushes were shoved into his starved bookshelf while the walls depicted ugly scenes of a black-haired characterization of himself in very disturbing situations, many of them involving either Shizuo or a truck.

Izaya didn't even give time to think through the situation, he strode toward the twins' bedroom. He tested the doorknob even though he knew it would be locked. Without warning, he took a step back to give himself more room and kicked the door open. It crashed against the wall, the hinges screaming on the doorway. He could hear Mairu gasp from somewhere in the darkened room. Izaya felt around on the wall before locating the light switch and flipping it. Rosy light brightened the room, betraying the two sisters curled up on top of the bed.

"You want to play, imouto-chan?" Izaya said in a sickeningly sweet voice. He casually closed the door behind him with his foot and locked the doorknob. "You must have been _dying_ to play a game…that's why you were so _childish_ earlier, weren't you?"

Before the twins could react, Izaya turned off the lights, forcing them all into darkness. The twins stiffened, realizing that their only source of _knowing_ was destroyed. They were stranded in the black, vulnerable to attacks from every direction.

Without warning, the mattress flipped underneath them. Izaya had grabbed a hold of the edge of the mattress and overturned it, sending Mairu and Kururi toppling to the floor. Before they had a chance to jump to their feet Izaya pinned them on the ground by their necks.

"How about I suggest the game this time?" Izaya said in a voice far too cheery as the girls squirmed under his grip.

"Iza-nii!" Mairu coughed, trying to pry his hands off of her.

"How about those thumbtacks of yours, Imouto-chan?" Izaya threatened. "You sure love playing with those with others; why not share them?"

Kururi managed to pull Izaya's hand off her neck and lunged at him. She knocked him against the side of the bed. Izaya's grip released Mairu and she too jumped onto Izaya, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"IZA-NII!" Mairu screeched into his ear. "IZA-NII, IZA-NII, IZA-NII!"

Izaya tried to wrestle Mairu and Kururi off of him, but they clung to him too tightly to be budged. He was getting a headache from the screams. "What the heck, Mairu?"

"You're—you're HORRIBLE!" Mairu cried out. She punched him in the chest, knocking the air out of him. He coughed violently, squeezing the girls closer to him. "The only time you ever even talk to us is if you're mad at us!"

Izaya tried to retort, but only coughed some more since Mairu did not stop punching him. He caught her tiny fist in his hand before she could cause any more damage to his sternum.

"Mai—Mairu!" he forced out of his throat.

"Apathetic (Why don't you care about us anymore)…?" Kururi said, burying her face into his shoulder, but not without giving him a single, forceful punch in the ribs. Izaya suppressed a wince; he only allowed Shizuo and his sisters to strike him.

"What are you talking about?" Izaya demanded, his voice slightly rasped.

"You _always_ ignore us!" Mairu said indignantly, her long nails biting his skin. "You _always_ make us go to our rooms whenever we're home! You _never _listen to us when we want to tell you something because we _never_ see you!"

Izaya stared confusedly at Mairu before it clicked into his mind. All the times he was trying to keep them out of trouble and harm drove a deeper fault between him and his sisters. As much as he believed that his reasons were more practical, he still felt a creeping guilt inside of him for his neglect.

"You used to be the onii-chan who would scare our bullies away when we were little," Mairu said hotly. "And read us stories and play games with us! Why do you hate us now?"

"I don't hate you two! At all!" Izaya said.

"You _love_ humans," Mairu said mockingly. "But you don't love anyone personally!"

"Hey!" Izaya said sharply. He could still love humans and prefer specific ones personally, couldn't he? Would it still detract from his love of mankind? "Mai-chan, listen…"

"Gathering (There's a yakiniku party at school on Saturday)…accompany (and we want you to come)…" Kururi filled in quietly, clinging tightly on Izaya. "Decline (But you won't even let us ask you)…"

"Yakiniku…oh." Izaya remembered Masaomi mentioning it very briefly to Izaya when Izaya was giving him his assignment of making sure Yadogiri was down low. He breathed a sigh that tickled his sisters' hair.

"We don't know anyone in school besides one person," Mairu said loudly. "We want to go but everyone there either ignores us or runs away from us!"

"Dress (We're supposed to dress nicely)…show (and we wanted to show you what we wanted to wear)…" Kururi told him.

"But you don't care, do you?" Mairu snapped, biting his shoulder. He winced and pulled her head away. She pouted at him, her glasses askew. "Even when we walked through the streets bare naked you didn't care!"

"You did _what_?" Izaya exclaimed, aghast.

"Lies (She was kidding)…" Kururi assured him. Mairu crossed her arms, glaring at Kururi for blowing her cover. Izaya bit down on the tip of his tongue. It was true that he hadn't even associated himself with them for ages, even before they moved in. How come he did not think of his sisters when Masaomi mentioned the yakiniku gathering at Raira? It had never occurred to him at all. He awkwardly pulled the twins closer to him despite their continued attempts to punch and pinch him.

"…go tell Namie to cancel Shiki's appointment for tonight," he said, "and then show me what you want to wear to the yakiniku gathering. I want to make sure it's appropriate for this Saturday."

They gave him confused blinks before allowing a guilty smile creep onto their lips. Even with the age difference and the long moments of separation, their sibling intuition helped the twins know what Izaya really meant. Kururi scrambled to her feet and hurried out of the dark bedroom, beaming. Mairu jumped to her feet and was about to run out of the room before she stopped halfway out the door, spun around, and rushed back to Izaya. She kneeled next to him and wrapped her arms around him.

"Kururi has a date to the yakiniku party," she mumbled into his chest.

"A date?" Izaya repeated, surprised. Mairu nodded furiously, tightening her embrace. Izaya ruffled her black hair. "You don't like that at all, do you?"

"She's _my _sister," Mairu protested. "She doesn't belong to anyone else! She's not Aoba's!"

Ah, that Aoba boy. Izaya couldn't help but chuckle at the thought of Aoba dating Kururi. The outcome of such a relationship might cause utter havoc to all who surrounded them.

"Tell you what," Izaya said, shifting so that she was in a more comfortable position. "I can be your date. You're _my_ sister and I don't want _you_ belonging to someone else."

Mairu gazed up at him with fogging glasses. "You?" she exclaimed, giggling slightly. "You're so _old_, Iza-nii! You're such an old geezer!"

"Why does everyone say that?" Izaya said. Mairu stood up, straightening her wrinkled skirt and hiding a pleased smile by ducking her head.

"I suppose you'll do," Mairu said resolutely, laughing softly. She bent down next to him again and held out a hand. "Promise?"

"Am I really a liar?" Izaya said, but he took the hand anyway.

* * *

_You shouldn't have made that promise to me, Iza-nii._

_You shouldn't have come._

_I shouldn't have made you. _

_Forgive me._


	3. Chapter 3

If a stranger walked into Tokyo and saw the Orihara siblings walking hand in hand down the sidewalk, he would have thought nothing of it. He would see an older brother holding hands with his two baby sisters, one shyly dressed to the nines in preparation for her very first date while the other opted for the usual attire of a black uniform. He would smile upon the scene before moving on with his day, forgetting about them eventually.

He would have been right.

For the first time in a long time, that was all that the Oriharas were: siblings heading to a yakiniku party just for pure enjoyment and nothing more.

Kururi had finally taken off the gymnastics suit in favor of a blouse and a short skirt. Admittedly, the attire was still as body-hugging as the somewhat scandalous gymnastic uniform, but instead of frowning upon it, teenagers who passed them by considered it quite typical and did not gawk. Although she barely made any noise the whole trip to Raira Academy, her pleasure made her cheeks glow with excitement at the thought that she would have her very first date with a boy who thought her prettier than the popular bullies. Mairu, claiming that she did not care that Kururi had a date since all slots for males had been filled for her satisfaction already, clung tightly on Izaya's arm, grinning at everyone who passed.

"We can show you our classmates too," Mairu said, giggling. "Like this one girl who did mean things to my and Kure-nee's desk, and those boys that always stare at Kure-nee in such a strange way, and our teachers who still reminisce about you and Shizuo-san…"

Izaya laughed at the last comment. "I'm sure they just _love_ remembering filled gasoline drums rolling down the third floor of the school building."

"Aniki…(You never told us)…occur ( what happened to you in school all those times)…" Kururi said reproachfully.

"There isn't enough time in the world to describe all the times Shizu-chan was an idiot," Izaya said. "I'd be able to write a book if I wasn't so busy."

"Shizuo-san is not an idiot," Mairu said cheerfully. "If I had to pick who I would rather hang out with, I would definitely pick Shizuo-san~!"

"Because his senselessness is so amusing, no doubt," Izaya said, hiding a disapproving scowl. He saw the school ahead of him and quickened his pace. "Hey, do you both have your cell phones?"

Kururi and Mairu promptly whipped out their cell phones from their respective purses, shoving it in front of Izaya's face as proof. Izaya lightly batted them away.

"Okay, I get it," Izaya said. "Keep them on in case I lose you in the courtyard, all right? Especially you." He pointed his finger at Kururi's face, poking her cheek teasingly. "I don't want you leaving the courtyard, and I'll be checking on you very often if you decide to have some time alone with Aoba-kun."

"Bad (You're so foul)…think (How could you even suggest such a thing)…?" Kuriri muttered. Izaya smirked and ruffled her hair, mussing her neatly combed hairstyle.

When they arrived in the school courtyard, the smell of barbequed meat greeted them before any face did. Izaya grinned as he entered the familiar battleground; his former kingdom. He could specifically remember which windows Shizuo threw innocent and unfortunate classmates out of (virtually all of the windows) and the many tricks Izaya planned in that very courtyard that was now hosting a yakiniku party. When certain teachers recognized Izaya, they paled and whispered loudly to one another, watching him fearfully. He laughed to himself; even the senseis that ordered respect and knowledge were intimidated by him.

"Ah…" Kururi's face brightened when she saw a certain teenager make his way toward her. Izaya gave Aoba a crooked smile when he came up and took Kururi's hand. Aoba's eyes flashed with recognition when they fell upon Izaya's face, but otherwise he showed no reaction.

"Iza-nii, that's Aoba," Mairu said, her eyes narrowed slightly. "Kure-nee's date."

Izaya bowed his head in greeting, his smile still plastered on his face. Aoba did not give any other acknowledgement before taking Kururi away, melting into the crowd.

"What do you want to do first?" Izaya asked Mairu. Mairu's eyes were still locked on Kururi and Aoba's retreating backs.

"Let's go over there," she said, pointing straight ahead, where Kururi and Aoba were obviously heading. Izaya was about to follow Mairu before a hand grabbed him by the shoulder. He turned around and found himself face-to-face with an unfamiliar teacher with a stern face and narrowed eyes. Izaya raised an eyebrow questioningly at the stranger.

"Orihara Izaya, am I correct?" the man demanded.

"Perhaps," Izaya said lightly.

"A word with you, if I may?"

Izaya gave a dramatically frustrated sigh. "If I must. Mairu, go on. I'll catch up."

Mairu huffed, glaring at the teacher before flouncing away, her braids dancing behind her. Izaya turned back to the teacher, who was texting on his cell phone without even looking at it. He snapped it shut with his fingers and pocketed it.

"Orihara-san, I'd like to talk to you about your sisters," the teacher said in a low voice.

"Huh," Izaya replied indifferently. He had rather expected a confrontation of his sisters' troublesome nature when he decided to come to their school, but it didn't mean that he was willing to listen. "Well, sensei, I'm not exactly the ones who raised them, so complaining to me wouldn't help your case much."

"Your parents—"

"Are not here," Izaya finished with a tone of boredom. "And they wouldn't really give a damn what you say, either. To our family, they're perfect angels, and whatever you say is quite useless and meaningless to us."

"Even so, Orihara-san," the teacher said. "You cannot possibly let them run amok—"

"Run amok?" Izaya let out a shout of laughter. "And here you are, talking as if we were beasts when you are no better? Do you think you are more civilized than us? Better than us? Moral? How silly of you. No person is better than the other; we're all delightfully disgusting. And besides," he cocked his head, studying the teacher suspiciously. "How did you know my name? You weren't a teacher when I was a student here. And even if someone else told you about me, how would you have recognized me? Just because I was with Kururi and Mairu?"

The teacher made no comment. He stared stonily at Izaya and was about to retort before Izaya's cell phone rang in his jacket pocket. Izaya did not even ask to be excused; he took out the cell phone and read the text that Kururi had sent him.

_Unfortunately, I have left my camera back in my purse at home. Could I trouble you to please fetch it for me?_

Izaya sighed and rolled his eyes. It wasn't like his sister to be so forgetful, and couldn't her cell phone take photos already? Nevertheless, he shut the cell phone and smiled teasingly at the teacher.

"Such a nice conversation with you, _sensei_," he said sweetly. He turned on his heel and sprinted out of courtyard, hoping to fetch Kururi's camera out of her purse before Mairu would miss him.

Mairu stealthily crept behind Kururi, gritting her teeth and watching them like a hunter. She gave a loud gasp of horror that made fellow students turn quizzically toward her direction when she saw their hands intertwine. They weren't even boyfriend and girlfriend yet! Was this legal? Then again, considering what was in her adult magazines she so loyally looked through, this should have been the least of her problems.

But this was her sister. This was a much different case.

However, halfway through her spying on her sister's date, the teacher that had approached Izaya came up to Kururi and muttered into his ear. Kururi tilted her head curiously at him before slipping her hand out of Aoba's and following the teacher back into the school building. Mairu frowned confusedly before striding straight toward Aoba, poking him roughly on the shoulder.

"Hey, Aoba-kun," Mairu said sharply. "Where is Kure-nee going?"

Aoba shrugged. "Teacher said there was a phone call for her. From her parents."

"And they didn't ask to talk to me?" Mairu said indignantly. "Humph!" She spun around, her braids whipping Aoba across the face all too deliberately, before rushing inside the building to follow Kururi. She burst through the doors into the silent and dark building. Her footsteps echoed on the linoleum flooring.

"Kure-nee!" she shouted. The sound of her voice shook in the hallway. She furrowed her eyebrows and trotted through the empty hallway, peeking through occasional classrooms in search for her sister. "Kure-nee?"

If a teacher wanted to give Kururi a phone, where would he do it?

Mairu stopped dead in her tracks.

Why would her parents call the _school_ on a _weekend_ to talk to their own daughter?

At that very moment, a hand grabbed her neck.


	4. Chapter 4

**Ahh, this was one of my favorite chapters to read. Thank you so much everyone for reading my story! I'm really, really happy that people are giving me time to read my work :'D. Also, are there any DRRR Shizaya fanfiction writers out there? I'd love to give you a prompt if you are, because I've got a prompt that would make a nice story but I'm not much of a BL writer. Tell me if you're interested! Thank you and enjoy!**

* * *

Izaya was sprinting back to the school, powered by annoyance. He had practically overturned Kururi's bedroom in search for her camera, but found nothing except for Mairu's magazines, which he secretly disposed of. He concluded that Kururi must have not searched thoroughly in her purse and hurried back to the courtyard before Mairu would give him an earache for abandoning her.

The streets were so loud with the honking of cars and the rumbling of people's voices meshing together all at once that he nearly did not hear his cell phone ringing.

He skidded to a stop, gritting his teeth. He had to stop himself by grabbing hold of a stop sign (the irony) and forcing himself to halt. He grabbed his cell phone, flipped it open, and held it against his cheek.

"What?" he said dangerously.

"IIIIIzaaaaayaaaa-kun!"

The voice made his blood freeze in his veins. At the sound of that all too familiar voice, Izaya could still feel that knife drive into his body. He tightened his grip on his cell phone.

"Yadogiri Jinnai," he said softly, rooted to the spot.

"It's been _such_ a long time since we last had such an opportunity to talk to each other!" Yadogiri sang. Izaya clenched his teeth until even his jaw hurt. "Tell me; how have things been?"

"Why am I _blessed_ with the chance to talk to you again, Yadogiri?" Izaya said dryly.

"Why are the Oriharas so stingy when it comes to conversation?" Yadogiri lamented. "Even your sisters weren't very talkative when I had the lovely opportunity to meet them!"

Izaya's eyes widened. He spun around in the spot as if to search for Yadogiri. "What are you talking about? Where are Kururi and Mairu?"

"Stop doing pirouettes like a dog chasing its tail," Yadogiri laughed. "You needn't threat. You can't see me, but I can see you very well."

"What have you done, Yadogiri?" Izaya demanded.

"You thought that you had me all dealt with after you sent the Awakusu-kai at me," Yadogiri chortled. "You thought you won the game. You thought you _beat_ me!"

Izaya didn't reply. He breathed heavily, trying to calm himself down. "What have you done to Kururi and Mairu?"

"I'm not one to take defeat so willingly, Orihara," Yadogiri hissed. "I don't _like_ to surrender."

"Shut the hell up about your stubborn pride," Izaya said swiftly. "Where are my sisters?"

"Tell me, Orihara," Yadogiri laughed. "How much do you really love your sisters?"

Izaya gripped his cell phone so tightly it nearly cracked in his grasp.

"I wonder, do you care about them at all? Orihara Izaya, the disgusting, selfish, heartless bastard who does nothing but destroy everything around him—"

"What have you done with them, Yadogiri?"

"—surely he would not care if my men tied them up and gagged them? Or that they kicked and punched their little bodies? One of them is shaped quite nicely; would onii-chan care if my men grew a little friendly toward her—?"

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THEM?" Izaya snarled. He was shaking with fury, something that he had not felt in so many years.

"Do you pick favorites, Izaya-kun?" Yadogiri said harshly. "Do you favor a twin over the other? Well! Even if you do not, it is about time that you made a choice!"

"What do you mean?" Izaya hissed. He hated how much he acted like a human: how brash, how furious, how violent, and how predictable. It was so raw yet so uncontrollable.

"Oh, you can save a pretty girl, Iza-kun!" Yadogiri said. Izaya could hear him beaming on the other end and it boiled his blood. "The question is, who?"

And suddenly, without Yadogiri even telling him what he had in store for his sisters, Izaya's heart stopped pumping, and he suddenly became very, very cold.

* * *

Celty was flying.

Her motorcycle sped through the emptying streets, riding against the wind with ease. She could have easily been the wind; silent, fast, and powerful. The hour was late and the night was so ripe that even some of the city lights were dying out. She would have relished the quietness and peace, but now she could not.

There was no time to spare.

She could feel her cell phone ringing in her hand as she drove as fast as she could through the streets of Ikebukuro, but she did not bother to pick up. Whatever other jobs Shiki or anyone else needed had to wait. She couldn't believe she was placing Izaya Orihara first before everyone else in her list of things to accomplish, but there was something different in his voice when he called her at ten in the evening. She was so unused to it that she nearly did not recognize him when he called.

His voice was laced with fear.

Celty was not fond of Izaya Orihara at all, but she could never bring herself to leave anyone afraid and without help. She just couldn't.

Her motorcycle gave a loud whinny as she turned a sharp corner toward the Raira Academy where Izaya was to meet her. In the dim glow of the streetlight, she found the young informant rooted to the spot in front of an empty courtyard. The aroma of barbequed meat still hung delicately in the air like the smell of fresh water after rainfall. She skidded to a stop and parked her motorcycle by the curb. Izaya made no movement when she slid off her motorcycle and rushed to his side, typing on her PDA on the way.

[What do you need me for?]

She shoved her PDA in front of Izaya's face. Izaya stepped back instinctively, nearly tripping over his own feet. Celty immediately noticed the change of character in Izaya's face. There was no devilish spark in his eyes or a mischievous crooked smile on his lips.

"You came," Izaya said monotonously. He tilted his head slightly, his face still blank. "I almost thought that you wouldn't."

[Why wouldn't I?]

He smiled lightly. "That's my loyal courier." His smile immediately sapped away. Celty hurriedly typed on her PDA, shadows trailing her graceful fingers.

[You sounded urgent on the phone. What is the problem?]

"Celty-san, why don't you let me ask you a question?" Izaya suddenly spoke up. His eyes were sharp and dangerous like the knives he always played with, but his lips barely moved. "A hypothetical one, if you please—all I want is a literal answer."

Celty wanted to protest, but she lowered her PDA, allowing Izaya to continue on. He turned away from her and began pacing on the sidewalk, his gait shaky and swift.

"You like Shinra enough, don't you? And Shizu-chan? Perhaps you prefer one over the other, or perhaps one annoys you more than the other—that's human and that's life. Nevertheless, you still tolerate them a good amount…"

Celty grew warier and warier as Izaya's pace seemed more rigid and his voice more desperate. She tightened her fists, grasping at the shadows in her reach just in case—just in case—Izaya did something completely unpredictable, which Celty expected.

_"You've heard these kinds of questions in high school, or even middle school, I'm sure," Yadogiri said pleasantly as Izaya craned his neck, trying to see Yadogiri's face through any building window. "You know the whole jazz: 'if you were to pick her or me, who would you pick?' Give or take a few details. Well, even though you've long graduated, I'm going to give you a little pop quiz, shall I?" _

"Now, let's just say that Shinra is poisoned—don't jump to conclusions!" Izaya suddenly said when Celty lunged at him, not even bothering to type a fiery accusation on her PDA. Izaya dodged her, but did not whip out his flickblade in self defense. "Did I not say that this was all hypothetical? This story is only partially fictional."

_"Ikebukuro is such a large place, isn't it? How long do you think it'll take to go from one end of Ikebukuro to the other? Forty-five minutes if you're lucky, right? Well, you've got a little prize waiting for you on the other end of Ikebukuro. And one on the far other end. Do you see where I'm going with this, Iza-kun?"_

"There is only one cure in the entire world: this one antidote that he must take all of else he will be killed by the toxins." Celty suddenly realized that Izaya's voice was shaking. If she did not know his voice so well, she would not have noticed, but she could now hear the underlying anxiousness creeping underneath his words. "But Shizu-chan is poisoned too. The same poison, requiring the same cure. You only have one cure, though. Only one…"

_"The one with the braids—Mairu is her name, isn't it?—is in the Shimizu warehouse down in south Ikebukuro. You know that place well; that was near the place your Awakusu-kai cornered me. She's on the very top floor, tied to a chair, with a gun straight at her temple. The moment the sun rises, we're blowing her brains out._

_What about the nicely shaped one? That's Kururi, right? I don't really give a damn about names—in the end, they're both useless scum. She's all the way in north Ikebukuro, in that old parking lot next to that shopping mall. She's also tied up quite tightly with a gun at her head as well. Forty-five minute difference, Iza-kun. Do you see what I see? I see your precious sisters' blood and brains splattered on the cement."_

"Who would you save, Celty-san?" Izaya had stopped pacing now; he stood as still as a statue with only a moving mouth. "Will you do what is expected of you and save who only you love and you need? Answer me, Celty san; do you save one of them for them, or for you?"

[Where are you going with this?] Celty typed on her PDA frantically. She was not used to seeing Izaya in such a state. If even Izaya was concerned, then the situation must have been dire.

_"I'm letting you save one of them, Iza-kun. You can show up alone to the parking lot or the warehouse before sunrise, and I'll let you save that one little girl. But the moment I see your face, I'm sending a message to my boys on the other end of Ikebukuro, and they're going to shoot a bullet right through that poor, rejected twin's temple. I've got men surrounding the buildings and in the room, and all their cell phones set to speed dial the other end. You can't save them both, Iza-kun. You've got to choose only one._

_"Oh! I nearly forgot! If I see someone else's face besides your ugly mug come to the rescue, both of their skulls will be shattered like a dropped porcelain bowl. Don't try to pull any heroic partnerships, because you'll only lose them both. Are you listening to me, Iza-kun? No matter what you try, by the time the sun rises, at least one person has to die."_

"I told you the story was partially fictional. Indeed it is." His smile slid from his face and his eyes widened. "I'm afraid my time is running out. Although you may hate me and wish me to die every now and then, as does everyone, I ask you to spare me your time." He finally looked up to Celty. His eyes were not narrowed with mirth, but wide with anxiety and weakness. "You are strong and powerful enough to carry out my plan and I…have no one else to turn to."

When Celty typed on her PDA, even her fingers shook.

[What do you mean?]

"Let me ask you another question, Celty-san," Izaya said.

_"Why are you doing this?" Izaya said, forcing his voice to be steady. His throat tightened and he could barely breathe. "Whether two girls live or die, what does that do for you? What does it matter to you?" _

_"It doesn't affect me at all," Yadogiri said triumphantly. "But you know, Izaya, I learned something from you. I adopted a _very_ enjoyable hobby from you. Watching humans, manipulating their every move in their life, and watching them squirm. _

_"I just want to see you suffocate."_

_The connection broke, and all that came from the other end of the phone was a dull, seamless tone._

"Will you help me?"


	5. Chapter 5

If Celty was flying before, she was riding dimensions now. Her motorcycle rushed through the empty streets of Ikebukuro. If she had a heart, she knew it would be racing even faster than her steed. She tightened her grip on the handles and the motorcycle jerked, speeding up.

_"Yadogiri Jinnai has my sisters," Izaya told her. "He has one at gunpoint down in the Shimizu Warehouse and the other at gunpoint in the parking lot up at north Ikebukuro. Once I show up in either place, they will kill the other twin."_

_Celty shuddered, immediately realizing where Izaya was going with this. Her muscles tensed with resentment toward this Yadogiri Jinnai for roping in innocent children into his plans of revenge. _

With her motorcycle she could reach the far end of Ikebukuro in twenty minutes. She checked the time on her cell phone; it read eleven o'clock. She revved her engine until she could practically feel the wind seep past the cracks in her helmet and tickle her neck.

_"If they see anyone else besides me show up, they'll automatically kill the girls," Izaya explained. "But you are rather different from other people that could possibly show up for me." He paused and cast a questioning look at Celty from the corner of his eyes. "That is, if you are willing to help me."_

_Celty did not hesitate to type on her PDA. [Of course I will help.]_

She spotted the old parking lot peeking above the roofs of several business buildings. She braced herself as she made her stallion run faster than she had ever made it before.

_[I'll go to the parking lot to save Kururi. It's closer to the school and it would be safer for me to reach the place before you do.] Celty typed onto her PDA. Izaya nodded wordlessly as she hurriedly erased that message and typed out a fresh one. [You'll go to the Shimizu Warehouse. I can defeat the guards before they hurt Kururi or give a message to the other side to hurt Mairu.]_

Her motorcycle was dead silent as it crawled up the many ramps and levels of the tall parking lot. She patted it gently, soothing it so that it would not let out a betraying ninny. She could hear the faint rumble of voices above her as she silently crept closer to the target.

_"I'm surprised," Izaya said gently. "I thought you would suspect me of tricking you."_

_Celty shook her head and held up her PDA. [You can be despicable, but you're still human. You wouldn't lie like this. Not even you.]_

_Izaya seemed mildly surprised by her response. "You know, I think you're the first to have that sort of faith in me."_

When she was at the foot of the ramp leading up to the final level of the parking lot, Celty halted. She rested her motorcycle at the side and pressed her back against the wall. There was no light; everything was pitch black as if she was in a black hole, yet she was positive that there were soft voices. Why was everyone in darkness?

She held out her hands, feeling the shadows all around her quiver under her control. She felt the shadows curl around the heads of everyone in the parking space, counting the opponents she was about to face. She was confused; why were there so many people guarding one girl? She could sense perhaps fifteen men in the parking lot.

This wasn't right.

Celty raced up the slope and swiped her hands in front of her, causing the shadows to writhe and wrap around all the people by her. Voices yelled in confusion and horror when the men were suddenly paralyzed by an invisible source. They were bound by the blackness that they used to try to weaken their enemies. With a twist of her hands, she pinned everyone to the ground with the shadows. The clanging of metal against concrete echoed around her, to her surprise.

_Bang_. Gunshot sounded and Celty jumped with surprise. Doom pervaded her body as she swept her hands, plastering everyone onto the walls. The shadows were all under her control, submitting to her bidding. She found a source of light: a small flashlight by her feet. She quickly turned it on and shined it in everyone's faces.

"It's the Headless Rider!" a man exclaimed, aghast. Celty swiftly gagged him with shadows with the flick of her wrist. As the yellow light brightened the vast parking lot, she realized that the metal clanging she had heard was not an accident. The men were all carrying either crowbars or metal bats; some of them dropped their weapons when Celty attacked. Celty's grip on the flashlight tightened with confusion. If all they were going to do was shoot Kururi in the head, why did they need so many weapons?

And suddenly it hit her like a speeding truck.

She rushed over to the wall, typing furiously on her PDA on the way. Once she reached one of the men plastered on the wall, she kneed him in the gut before shoving her PDA in front of his face.

[Where is the girl?]

"D-dammit," the man groaned, his eyes watering with pain. "Not going t' tell you—Boss will have our heads—"

The shadows tightened their clamp on the man, choking him. He sputtered, his face growing redder. Celty showed him the PDA again, nearly smashing his face with it.

"Who are you?" he coughed. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Celty punched him in the eye, refusing to move the message from his face. The shadows started to suffocate him. He thrashed and flailed, desperate to free himself from strangling. He was drowning in air.

"She's on the roof," he finally spat. "On the top level right on top of this—"

Celty pocketed her PDA and threw everyone to the ground. Whips of shadows were still wrapped around their wrists and ankles as she dashed toward the roof of the parking lot. She had to reach Kururi fast and then race Izaya to the Shimizu Warehouse before Izaya could reach it alone.

She found Kururi bound and gagged in the center of a ring of bored men who looked like they could be doing anything but hold a gun at her head. Without even waiting for them to notice her, she conjured her black scythe and slashed at them all. They froze in their spots, their eyes bulging with surprise, before toppling to the ground. Kururi gasped and tried to edge away from Celty when Celty approached her.

[Don't worry. I'm Izaya's friend.] Celty assured her. [I'm here to help you. We've got to hurry.]

She ripped the binds off of Kururi's wrists and ankles and tore off the gag. She couldn't help but remember that the last time she saved a kidnapped girl was because of Izaya's doing as well. Kururi gave a gasp of air when her mouth was freed from the rag.

"Siblings (Where are Mairu and Izaya)…?" Kururi asked shakily as Celty helped her to her feet.

[We're going to them now.] Celty typed. Her fingers flew across her PDA; time was running away from them. [We must hurry to them. Stay by my side.]

She barely gave Kururi time to read the message before she grabbed Kururi's wrist and sprinted back to her motorcycle. Kururi gave a small yelp as they passed her captors, all still trapped under the darkness. Celty nearly tripped over a crowbar on the ground and she jolted; it was a brash reminder of what may happen if she did not stop Izaya from saving Mairu.

She helped Kururi onto the motorcycle, spinning the shadows around her head to fasten a helmet on her. She climbed on behind her, revved the engine and raced out of the parking lot.

Celty knew Yadogiri Jinnai did not kidnap the girls to kill them. It was never his intent to murder one of the twins. In the end, all he wanted was to lure Izaya into his web. The men were armed with weapons not to threaten the girls, but to attack and maybe even kill Izaya. In the end, Yadogiri's revenge was to destroy Izaya.

If Izaya reached Shimizu Warehouse before Celty could stop him, he would be running straight into Yadogiri's arms.

And it would take her forty-five minutes at the least to reach the other side of Ikebukuro.


	6. Chapter 6

**I watched the newest Durarara! OVA just today with Kururi and Mairu. One thing that I HAVE to say: Parkour is so hot. So. So. Hot. **

**Anyway...enjoy the newest chapter!**

* * *

Izaya kicked down the door of the warehouse. The hinges were ripped off the doorway and the door fell to the ground with a heavy clang. He didn't bother trying to be discreet anymore. They were expecting him, after all, and he was too blinded by anger to think of any other way than to destroy everything in his path.

_Is this how Shizu-chan feels all the time?_Izaya thought to himself with a grim smile. He sprinted into the empty warehouse, nearly slipping on the waxy floor. The warehouse was illuminated with a sickly green light from the emergency lights above his head. He searched for the stairs that would lead him to the top floor. He sped forward, bounding up the stairs. Celty should have reached Kururi by now. He checked his cell phone for any missed calls and found to his surprise that there was no service.

He passed the second and third floor before suddenly realizing the loophole.

If there was no service, how would Yadogiri send a cell phone message to the other side of Ikebukuro to kill Kururi?

He shoved his cell phone back into the pocket of his jacket. Was Yadogiri really so stupid as to make an empty threat like that? His fingers curled around the handle of his flickblade as he slowed his pace. He felt his heart pounding wildly in his chest. He placed a hand on the doorknob leading to the final floor of the warehouse. It was cold against his skin. He flicked out his blade and took in a deep breath before wrenching the door open.

He had expected a room lit by a solitary fluorescent light bulb with Mairu tied up in a chair in the middle with a gun at her head. What he received was a completely black room. He couldn't see or hear anything. His blood ran cold as he held his blade tightly, holding his breath so that the room was completely silent.

Suddenly, the door behind him slammed shut. His eyes widened and he spun around, but without warning he was thrown to the ground. The blade was knocked out of his hand and eaten by the shadows. Immediately, punches and kicks attacked him from every direction, striking him in the ribs, chest, and stomach. Izaya couldn't breathe or yell as the air was torn out of his lungs. He clenched his hands into fists and tried to push himself off the ground, but a rough hand grabbed him by the back of the throat and threw him aside. He crashed against the cement wall and stars erupted in the pitch black.

Laughter exploded all around Izaya. He gritted his teeth, briefly paralyzed with pain that wracked his torso and head. He took in a deep breath and climbed onto his feet, trying to feel his way away from his attackers. He did not go far; a heavy blunt object crashed into his chest and knocked the wind out of him. He doubled over, gasping for air but unable to even choke.

"So glad that you've come to the party!" a terrible voice whooped. The sound was harsh and raw to Izaya's ears. The metal bat slammed against the side of his head and he crumpled. Something hot and slick dribbled down the side of his head, matting his hair.

"Someone turn on the lights," the same voice demanded. "I want to see my masterpiece."

The crude white light brightened overhead, stinging Izaya's eyes. The moment the lights turned on, Yadogiri Jinnai burst into uncontrollable laughter. Izaya's red eyes darted around him. He was completely surrounded by Yadogiri's men. There was no sign of Mairu anywhere.

His heart sank.

"Don't you look more attractive this way?" Yadogiri sniggered. He bent down next to Izaya, but before he could lay a finger on the younger man, Izaya swiped at Yadogiri's face, his nails clawing his cheek. Yadogiri yelped before straightening and aiming a kick at Izaya's throat. Izaya made no sound, but breathing became nearly impossible. Another kick to the chest made Izaya taste blood.

"Pretentious, aren't you?" Yadogiri sneered. "You really think you're still powerful in this situation? Don't flatter yourself."

"Where's—?" Izaya coughed and blood trickled down his lips. "Where's Mairu?"

Yadogiri beamed down at Izaya. "Hmm? Who? What are you talking about?"

Izaya pushed himself off the ground with great effort. His ribs felt so cracked and fragile that he feared that if his heart beat too strongly it would crack his bones. "I said," he spat once he was eye level with Yadogiri, "Where is my sister?"

"Not here," Yadogiri sang.

Despite the searing pain that crippled him, Izaya punched Yadogiri so hard in the face that the latter fell backward into his men. Immediately Izaya was shoved to the ground, metal bats battering his body. Izaya curled into a ball, more and more blood rising up his throat.

"You're no better than that nemesis of yours, Heiwajima!" Yadogiri giggled. "You're so _angry_, Iza-kun! Would you be happier if Mairu-chan was here to share your pain? If she was in this very room, beaten and torn? You know," He crouched down next to Izaya and tapped his finger on the young man's chin. "Your sisters have grown to be _quite_ beautiful young women. I suppose all the attractive genes went to them, hm? Some men have been quite hungry for—"

"You sordid little bastard," Izaya said, blood flicking from his lips as he spoke. His sisters—hell, his _humans_—were not just pieces of meat to be craved. Meat did not feel, did not react, did not betray or love or suffer. His humans were so much more than that, and the thought that some would only devour one another and not even give thought to what they thought, what they felt, what they wanted.

"Let's bring little Mai-chan over, why don't we?" Yadogiri barked to his men. "Let's give them some family time." Some of the men left the room to fetch their captive. Yadogiri grabbed Izaya by the front of his shirt and wrenched him off the ground.

"I wonder, Iza-kun," Yadogiri said in a sing-song voice, "if you thought your hands were clean of me once Shiki dealt with me. Do you think even though I lost, I would settle with failure?" Yadogiri dragged him up off the floor before hurling him back to the ground. His head collided with the ground and stunned him.

The door swung open again and Mairu was shoved into the room. She fell to her knees and let out a small gasp. Her limbs were bound and her braids were loose and unkempt. When her eyes fell upon Izaya's beaten form, she gave a small yell of fright.

"Mai-chan," Yadogiri said sweetly. "How old are you?"

Mairu didn't speak, she glared up at Yadogiri, but she was shaking. "Where's Kure-nee?"

"Both you and Iza-kun are so idiotically stubborn," Yadogiri sighed dramatically. "Your Kure-nee is right now buried in an abandoned garbage dump. Does that make you happier?"

Mairu thrashed in the men's grasp, her teeth bared. Yadogiri slapped her across the face.

"Oriharas never have a sense of humor," Yadogiri said through gritted teeth. "Now answer me, how old are you?"

"What does it matter?" Mairu hissed. He grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled her off the ground. Mairu's eyes widened as pain seared her scalp.

"I'm only going to ask you nicely one more time," Yadogiri threatened. His voice suddenly grew soft and gentle. "How old are you?"

"Fifteen," Mairu spat, her face pulled in a grimace.

"Brilliant," Yadogiri said cheerily. "I suppose you're old enough to be exposed to the dirt and grime in this world."

He advanced toward Izaya and faced the rest of his men. "All of you, stand guard by the entrances of this place."

The men exchanged rather confused looks but submitted to their leader's request. One by one they filed out of the room, leaving Yadogiri, Mairu, and Izaya behind.

Izaya shakily pushed himself into a sitting position. Mairu rushed forward, but Yadogiri grabbed her by the braids like a dog on a leash and swung her against the wall.

"I don't think you'll want to be caught in this little game of ours, Mai-chan," Yadogiri said. He held a crowbar in one hand and Izaya noticed a handgun in his pocket. However, instead of striking Izaya with it, Yadogiri dropped the crowbar on the floor and knelt down in front of Izaya, a smile on his face.

"What do you think, Iza-chan?" Yadogiri said. "Do you think you'll still want to be an informant after this?" He leaned in forward until his chapped lips nearly tickled Izaya's ear. "I think not."

Before Izaya could react, Yadogiri fell upon him.

* * *

Celty could feel Kururi shudder against her as the motorcycle cut corners and raced down the highway. She had constantly been trying to call Izaya's cell phone, but he would never pick up. Her anxiety heightened as she made such a sharp turn that she could have easily touched the ground with her hand.

"Shizuo-san!" gasped Kururi. Celty craned her neck, confused until she saw a figure standing in the middle of the road, waving his arms. Celty swiftly stomped on the brakes, forcing the motorcycle to halt. Black skid marks trailed her wheels as she managed to pull into a stop five inches away from Shizuo.

[What were you thinking, standing in the middle of the road like that? What are you doing up at this hour?] Celty demanded hastily.

"At this hour? It's only eleven thirty!" Shizuo said harshly. "I had a job to do with Tom and now I'm walking back home until I saw you and someone else." His eyes flickered down to Kururi and he raised his eyebrows questioningly. "What's going on? What's she doing with you?"

Celty shook her helmet vigorously and held up her PDA. [I have no time. Izaya and Mairu are in trouble.]

"The flea?" Shizuo said incredulously. "Why are you helping him?"

"Danger (Izaya and Mairu are in trouble)…" Kururi said, her voice muffled by the helmet. "Implore (Please help us!)…"

Shizuo hesitated. Celty could sense his hatred toward Izaya, since there was a vein popping out on the side of his neck. Kururi reached out and tugged at his sleeve her eyes wide with fear.

"Please, Shizuo-san…" she gasped. "P-please help…"

Shizuo gritted his teeth, torn by his loyalties to hatred and to the twins. Celty revved the engine, practically throwing her PDA in his face.

[I have no time to talk to you! If you want to help me, then come! But if you still hate Izaya too much, then get out of my way!]

Shizuo took in a deep breath. He clenched his teeth and closed his eyes before taking a step aside, leaving Celty alone. Celty lowered her helmet before stepping on the accelerator and riding off. Kururi gave a small moan before she disappeared with Celty.

Shizuo watched them disappear in the distance, the cigarette in his mouth still smoking slightly. He gritted his teeth so hard that he nearly bit the cigarette in half. He could still see Kururi's look of shocked heartbreak when he stepped away from Celty. Was Celty telling the truth? Was even Mairu in danger—and that flea?

_What are you going to do about it, Shizuo? _

_How much do you _hate_ violence?_

Shizuo took the cigarette out of his mouth and snapped it in half with his fingers. He took in a deep breath before sprinting after Celty.


	7. Chapter 7

**Teehee, I know roleplay as Mairu...I'm such an anime nerd.  
I'm like, the Erika of real life.  
****Or perhaps not, because I'm definitely not as much of a BL fan as she is...  
Disregard everything I just said xD. **

* * *

It hurt.

It hurt so much that Izaya couldn't breathe.

Couldn't speak.

Couldn't scream.

Couldn't even whimper.

All he could do was hold his breath and just _hurt_.

He could feel the blood stream out of his body. He wanted it to flow out of him. Every single drop. Let nothing remain in his body.

He wished he was completely hollow.

It was hot. Too hot. He was suffocating and he couldn't escape and oh God it hurt so much he wanted it to end to stop to be saved was that him screaming or his sister was he even still alive or was this hell he didn't know he didn't know he didn't know—

Something sharp was drilling down his neck. He couldn't tell if they were teeth or nails but either way they drew blood from his pale neck. He gasped for air but he couldn't feel the cold comfort in his lungs. He felt like he was drowning in lava. He wanted to lift his arms, to pull himself back to the surface, but he felt so, so weak.

So tired.

So battered.

Agony wracked his entire body and he clenched his teeth, swallowing down a scream. His muscles grew taut and he tried to curl into a ball to protect himself, but he was trapped under a heavy weight. He couldn't move no matter how much he thrashed and fought.

_Scum._

_Dirt._

_Blood._

He was drowning in all three.

He was being buried alive in rot.

"Nnng," was the only sound he could utter. He gasped when the pain sharpened. He squeezed his eyes shut, his throat throbbing with the urge to just scream.

Don't yell.

Don't be weak.

"NNNNGGAAAAHHHH!" he screamed. He couldn't take it anymore. Screaming would not lessen the pain, but he couldn't hide it anymore. Dear God, it was _killing _him.

Yadogiri laughed above him and Izaya wanted nothing more to tear open his throat. No more—please, no more—

The phone rang.

Yadogiri paused. Both of them were dead silent, listening to Izaya's ringtone break open the silence. Izaya became limp, chuckling breathily in spite of himself. The only time that Izaya's phone found signal was when it was far too late.

Yadogiri ripped off Izaya's bloodied jacket and dug his hand into the pockets. He pulled out Izaya's cell phone, squinting at the caller identification on the screen. He leered before flipping open the phone and putting it on speakerphone.

"Flea?"

Izaya's eyes widened at the sound of that deep voice. He held his shaky breath as he tried to wriggle away from Yadogiri's grasp, but Yadogiri was too strong, like a dead weight on top of him. Yadogiri dug his nails into Izaya's throat, forcing him to lay still.

"Flea, where the hell are you?" Shizuo demanded. "If this is some stupid joke, or some damn trick that you're pulling—"

Izaya gasped so hard that the air clawed his throat. Excruciating pain tore at his insides and he thrashed violently, fighting to free himself. Yadogiri growled and pulled Izaya by the front of the shirt before slamming him down on the ground.

"Scream," Yadogiri hissed.

"Flea?" Shizuo shouted. "Oi, flea! I know you're on the other end! If you're only doing this to mess with Celty or me, I swear—"

"I said _scream_," Yadogiri growled. Izaya clenched his teeth, forcing his mouth closed. Yadogiri was hurting him so badly, but Izaya didn't want to let Shizuo know his weak side. His vulnerable, sick, disgusting, beaten side. He turned his head toward Yadogiri and spat in his face.

Yadogiri's fist collided with Izaya's chin and throat. He hurt him everywhere imaginable, in every way imaginable. Izaya held his breath as he was attacked.

"SCREAM, YOU REPULSIVE ANIMAL!" Yadogiri bellowed. Izaya squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the entire world. "SCREAM LIKE YOU DID ONLY MOMENTS AGO, YOU FILTHY BASTARD!"

Izaya only gave a quivering sigh, his eyes clouded with so much pain that his true self could barely be seen.

"S-Shizuo…" Mairu's voice was as cracked as her broken glasses that still hung on her face. She was huddled in the corner of her room, her face bloody and her clothes torn. She raised her head slightly, her face so pale it shone in the dark room. "Shizuo-san…"

"Flea?" Shizuo's voice was no longer hateful, but horror-struck. "Mairu? What's going on?"

"Shizuo-san," Mairu sobbed. "Shizuo-san, Shizuo-san, SAVE US!" Her voice raised; it was practically hysterical. "PLEASE SAVE US, SHIZUO-SAN! SHIZUO-SAN, I'M BEGGING YOU! PLEASE HELP US!"

Her perpetually happy and devious façade had shattered and she was left raw and tearstained. She tried to reach out to the phone, their only connection to the outside world, but her arms were aching so much that she no longer had the strength.

In a swift motion, Yadogiri swiped the cell phone from the floor and hurled it at the opposite wall. The cell phone splintered and scattered across the floor, some shards slicing Mairu on the cheek. Mairu gave out a shuddering gasp but she wasn't even strong enough to wipe the blood from her face anymore. Brother and sister were crushed into weak, lifeless dust.

"Imouto-chan," Izaya breathed. He offered her his trademark crooked smile despite the blood painted on his much too pale face. "Laugh, imouto-chan…" His entire body was shaking. "Laugh, Mairu-kun. S-see?" He gave a weak chuckle that was not like him at all. "So easy…don't cry. Don't be afraid—Mai—Mai—Mai—" Izaya's voice dwindled and his face was frozen in a half-hearted half-smile before he screamed in pain.

At that very moment, a headless rider and a blond man in a bartender's suit burst into the Shimizu warehouse.

* * *

"DAMMIT!" Shizuo shouted as he threw two men at once against the wall, knocking them both out. "Just how many of you are there? They're swarming!"

He grabbed two by the scruff and rammed their heads against each other. They slumped to the ground unconscious, joining many of their comrades that had already faced Shizuo's wrath. Shizuo let out a yell of frustration as he was attacked from behind. Before he had a chance to crack any of their skulls, Celty swung her leg and kicked them in the face.

"Search (I'm going to go find my family!)..." Kururi said breathlessly to the adults before darting toward the stairs.

"Wait! Augh!" Shizuo drove his elbow into someone's stomach before tailing Kururi. "Celty! Come on!"

Celty didn't even bother giving Shizuo a response as she punched the last attacker so hard that he flew several meters before crashing against the wall. She barricaded the door be twisting off the doorknob and twisting it so terribly that it forced it shut. If she had a mouth, she would have spat on the men at her feet.

"Where would they be?" Shizuo demanded as they raced up staircase after staircacse.

[Mairu was supposed to be on the very top floor.] Celty responded as she darted past Shizuo. [I'm surprised you came. I thought you hated Izaya too much.]

Shizuo growled. Yes, he hated the flea with every ounce of him, but he was not cruel. He did not enjoy anyone's suffering even though he was usually the cause of it.

"I'm doing this for the twins, not for that flea," Shizuo insisted. "I couldn't care any less about what happens to him." He almost regretted saying that when he noticed Kururi wince at his words. Almost.

Celty did not show any sign of disappointment or agreement. She only ran faster up the stairs. Kururi silently reached out and grabbed Shizuo's wrist. Shizuo raised his eyebrows in surprise but did not pull away. Kururi hurried her pace and held onto Celty's hand. Celty looked back momentarily and returned the squeeze.

"What is it, Kururi?" Shizuo asked.

At first, Kururi did not respond. She only tightened her grip on Shizuo. When she did speak, Shizuo nearly did not hear it.

"Scared…" whispered Kururi, and Shizuo understood everything she held back.

* * *

The door slammed open just as Yadogiri rose from the floor, finished with destroying Izaya. Yadogiri spun around, blinded temporarily by the white light that flooded the dark room. In stumbled one of Yadogiri's men with a black eye and a terrible limp.

"We've been found out!" the scout spat. "The Headless Rider and Heiwajima Shizuo are here!"

Yadogiri sputtered with surprise. He wasn't surprise about the Headless Rider, the self-proclaimed agent of justice, but Heiwajima Shizuo, Izaya's enemy? He turned sharply toward Izaya lying motionless on the ground and Mairu in the corner, her eyes blank with shock.

"Yadogiri-san, they're coming this way!" the scout shouted.

Yadogiri let out a loud curse before pulling the gun out of his pants pocket. He cocked the gun and shot twice. His lips curled at the sight of spattering red before darting out of the room and pulling the door shut behind him.

* * *

"This way!" Shizuo shouted as they ascended the last pack of stairs. There was a turn in the middle of the staircase. Their footsteps clanged against the metal rungs of the stairs underneath them. It sounded haunting and foreboding.

Just as they turned the corner, they ran right into Yadogiri Jinnai.

Kururi screamed the moment she recognized him. Celty pulled her away from the man, shielding her with her own body. Before Shizuo could run forward and attack, Yadogiri raised the gun and shot at Shizuo. Blood spurted out of his shoulder and he stumbled back as the bullet lodged into his muscles. Yadogiri shoved Shizuo to the side and shot at Celty and Kururi. Celty shoved Kururi against the wall, taking the bullets in her side but otherwise unharmed by the mere human infliction. Yadogiri didn't even take the time to check if they were harmed. He and his companion hastened down the stairs to escape. Shizuo started to chase after them, blood soaking his sleeve, but Celty grabbed his shoulder to stop him.

[Leave them; they can't escape.] she reasoned. [I've blocked the entranceways. We need to help Izaya and Mairu.]

"Are you okay?" Shizuo asked Celty and Kururi.

Celty nodded and patted her bloodless side. She pointed up the staircase and beckoned Shizuo to follow her. Still holding onto Kururi's hand, she ran ahead of Shizuo toward the door at the end of the stairs. Shizuo followed immediately, not understanding why his heart beat so wildly. It had nothing to do with the throbbing in his arm. He refused to label it as fear.

Celty shoved the door open with her side and stopped short immediately. Shizuo hurried to her side and his eyes fell on Izaya and Mairu in the middle of the room. His eyes widened and he could not deny it any longer; his heart beat wildly with astonishment.

Mairu was bleeding steadily from the leg, her white knee socks dyed red with her own blood. She was curled next to Izaya, holding his hand and whispering inaudibly. When Celty, Shizuo, and Kururi burst into the room, she looked up quickly, her glasses dirtied with cracks and blood. Her eyes locked onto Kururi and she let out a small wail. Kururi broke free from between Celty and Shizuo and dived down next to her sister, wrapping her thin arms around her and Izaya. The front of Izaya's shirt was drenched in blood; Yadogiri's bullet pierced him just above the stomach. He was breathing heavily, blood spilling from his lips.

Shizuo didn't even notice what he was doing. He wordlessly bent down next to Izaya, his eyes still wide with shock. When Izaya lifted his unfocused eyes to Shizuo, his lips curled into a smile. He suddenly began to laugh silently; his mouth twisted into a mirthful smile but not a single sound came from his lips.

"Flea? Flea!" Shizuo shouted, shaking Izaya by the shoulder. Izaya did not seem to recognize Shizuo. His hand covered his mouth; blood seeped through his fingers. His face was growing ghastly paler until it seemed as if he was already dead.

[We've got to get them to Shinra.] Celty typed furiously on her PDA. [I'm taking Mairu. Take Izaya.]

"Just go, just go!" Shizuo snapped. Celty scooped Mairu into her arms and rushed out of the room and down the stairs. Kururi immediately followed after her. Shizuo turned back to Izaya, unsure if he felt disgusted or horrified. Izaya's hands scrabbled at the bullet wound in his chest. He was choking on his blood and soundless laughter.

"Stop it!" Shizuo hollered. He dragged Izaya's torso off the ground, trying to hold him upright. "Leave it alone!"

Izaya was gasping for air. The moment Shizuo pulled him into his arms Izaya tried to fight him off. He tried to claw Shizuo's face, every sign of hilarity drained from him. His teeth were clenched so that every gasp of air was sharp as a blade.

"Calm down!" Shizuo ordered as Izaya tore at Shizuo's chest, ripping off the buttons from the black vest. "Do you want me to help you or not? STOP FIGHTING BACK!"

Shizuo held Izaya tight, trying to suppress his arms from moving. Izaya struggled in Shizuo's grip, heaving dry sobs. More than half of his body was steeped with his blood and he was losing even more quickly as he tried to free himself from Shizuo. He mouthed inaudible words to Shizuo, his eyes hazy and half-closed.

"Flea!" Shizuo shouted, gripping Izaya tighter. Izaya tried to speak, his lips former invisible words, before he shuddered and grew limp in Shizuo's grasp. His eyelids fell over his eyes and his head drooped over Shizuo's arm. "IZAYA!"

Shizuo was where he had always wanted ever since he met Orihara Izaya, but now he wished he was anywhere—everywhere—but here:

In a pool of Izaya's blood.


	8. Chapter 8

**Ahh, here is where we start entering the realm of that kink story prompt that I had found a while ago...a clue of what it is would be that it was apparently inspired by creepypasta. Happy reading!

* * *

**

White.

Crisp, clean, absolutely pure white.

Like he was drowning in pure white paint.

He held out a hand but felt nothing. He dragged his toes across the ground but felt nothing scuff his feet. He even let himself fall backwards but did not collide with solid ground, yet he suspended in space without perpetually plummeting.

Did he still exist?

He looked down at his body. His skin was magnificently pale and he was clothed in his usual attire, but the color was white. Everything was white. It was nearly blinding him.

The first thought that came to his mind was that none of his precious humans were around.

He pushed himself off the floor (Space? Air?) and gazed around his surroundings. Infinity stretched in all directions around him. He couldn't remember how he came to this place, or if he was ever awake before falling asleep and ended up here.

He opened his mouth, wondering if his voice would echo in nothingness, or be silenced.

"What happened?" he said to himself.

His voice reverberated. Like paint melting off walls, the white dripped and trickled down, revealing bright colors underneath. He spun around, panicking as the white crumbled like destroyed sand castles. He craned his neck to face up, expecting great dollops of white to fall on him, but instead the white everythingness parted to reveal a bright blue of varying shades. Some of the white clung to the canvas, leaving downy smudges in the blue.

Something bright lit up in the sky, nearly blinding him. The gold light illuminated what was left of the whiteness that now trickled into nothingness. He raised his eyes to his surroundings and found to his surprise that the disappearing whiteness revealed Ikebukuro. He felt the road under his feet and the sun on his skin. He could hear the traffic and the people's voices. He glanced down, expecting his clothes to be any other color than white, but it was not the case. He rubbed the front of his jacket, thinking that he could rub off the colorless curse, but the jacket stubbornly remained pale.

He looked up to his reflection on the glass window of a nearby shop. His jacket was pure white, but the fur that fringed the hems was a dark magenta. He cocked his head curiously at such a strange color pattern. He didn't remember ever having such a jacket, but he also couldn't remember what it was supposed to be. Was it originally something else? Or was this how things were all the time?

"Oi! Flea!"

He turned around at the sound of the familiar voice. A blond man with a heavy silver trashcan was across the street from him. The man's name came to his mind before recognition. He let his lips curl into a familiar smile.

"Shizu-chan!" he sang, just like every time.

The silver trashcan flew in his direction. He dodged out of the way, laughing and practically dancing on his toes. Just like every other time.

But it wasn't like every other time.

It wasn't real.

* * *

Shinra pushed his glasses higher up the bridge of his nose, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He had always reckoned that one day or another he would have to tend to his childhood friend's critical wounds, considering Izaya's enemies and his occupation, but never did he expect the cause. He never expected to open the door one late night while expecting Celty to return, and instead received two very injured Oriharas.

There was a light knock on the door. Shinra rose from his seat and tentatively opened the door to a small crack. Celty was on the other side, the shadows rising from her neck wispy and shaky. She held up the PDA.

[How are they?]

Shinra slipped out of the room, closing the door silently behind him. "I got the bullet out of Mairu's leg. She has several broken bones, but she will bounce back. She still has shock though."

[How do you mean?]

"That Yadogiri man either showed or did something that mentally scarred her. She won't speak. Not even to Kururi," Shinra said tiredly. "As for Izaya…"

His voice trailed off. Celty hesitated before typing out [What about him?] on her PDA. Shinra hesitated, pursing his lips.

"He hasn't woken up yet. I got the bullet out of him too, but he lost a lot of blood. If it weren't for the blood you fetched from the hospital, he probably would have already died."

Celty shifted uncomfortably. She was used to doing extremely odd jobs that made her want to take a long, cleansing shower afterward, but stealing blood from the blood bank was an entirely different story. She felt like she might as well have killed someone.

"Lots of internal and external bleeding. Four broken ribs. And…" Shinra rubbed the back of his neck jadedly. "Well, I'm not too certain about _what_ it is specifically, but—okay, he's in really bad shape. I think he's—"

Before Shinra could continue that sentence, he was interrupted abruptly by loud banging on his door. Shinra jumped at the sound and hurried to allow whoever it was in. The moment he unlocked the door, it swung open and nearly drove the doorknob into the wall.

"Shizuo-kun!" Shinra said, surprised. "What—uh—what the heck are you doing here?"

"Don't get any ideas!" Shizuo snapped. He looked a little unkempt than usual. There were shadows under his eyes and his mood was a new level of irate. "I want to know if the girls are all right, that's all. Are they?"

"Er…why don't you come in, Shizuo?" Shinra offered, stepping aside.

Shizuo hesitated before dragging his feet inside. He extinguished his half-smoked cigarette on Shinra's coffee table and tossed the butt aside.

"How are they, huh?" Shizuo said flatly.

"They're shaken up, but they'll be all right," Shinra said. "I set the bones and stitched them up all right…can't say they're entirely well yet, though…"

"That's all I wanted to know," Shizuo said briefly. He shoved his hands into his pockets. "Well, can I see them or something?"

"I don't really know if visitors are a good idea," admitted Shinra. "Mairu's in shock still."

"I'm going to kill that Yadogiri bastard," Shizuo muttered.

"Izaya—"

"Look, I told you, that's all I wanted to know!" Shizuo snapped before Shinra could say any more. "I don't care what happens to the flea! I already did my part to save him and now I'm done!"

"Shizuo—"

Shizuo was already making his way to the front door.

"Izaya is in a coma!"

Shizuo's hand was frozen on the doorknob. He stood still, his back facing Shinra and Celty, before finally turning back to face them.

"A what?" Shizuo demanded.

"A coma," Shinra said. Even Celty was surprised. "I don't really know much about it—but he won't wake up and he won't react to anything. His heartbeat is practically the bare minimum. His brain activity—sometimes it's running so much that even a conscious person couldn't keep up, and sometimes it's so low it's like he's already—"

Shinra was suddenly shoved aside. He stumbled into Celty's arms, perplexed as Shizuo strode toward the room that Izaya was kept in. He slammed the door open, making Shinra's appliances balanced precariously on the shelves to quiver.

Izaya was lying on the bed, his forehead, arms, and chest heavily bandaged. He looked like a wax doll, his face completely blank of emotion. Without the devious grin on his lips, he was almost unrecognizable. Shizuo stared down at his enemy with a mixture of shock and denial. He gripped the side of the mattress, his teeth gritted.

"Flea, you better wake up," Shizuo hissed. The beeping of the machines in the room answered him. "I'm not through with you yet, dammit—you aren't supposed to _be_ like this."

He could still feel the deadened weight in his arms when he carried Izaya back to Shinra's place. He still felt the blood soak into his clothes, which were now so ruined he had to burn them. He could still feel Izaya's weakening breath against his chest.

All of it unnerved him.

"I'm supposed to be the only one who could hurt you," he said, biting back ironic laughter. "Shit—dammit—don't cheat me out of what I've been trying to do for years!"

He gripped the edge of the mattress tighter. This was not Izaya on the bed, dying and unresponsive. This had to be a mirage, a doll, something else other than that damn flea that always bounced right back up once he was down.

"You have to wake up," Shizuo said under his breath. "Because I can't kill you when you're like this. I just—can't."


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing! Normally I would reply to your reviews, but things got really confusing. Sorry! I really appreciate all the time you guys give me~**

* * *

It must have been just a dream.

As he watched over Ikebukuro on the rooftop of one of the tallest buildings in the city, he contemplated the strange blankness that had surrounded him some time ago. How long ago was it? He couldn't remember how much time passed, or if it passed at all. The sun rose and it set. The moon shined and it faded. A continuous, senseless pattern.

He reached out a hand, but what was he reaching toward? The colorful night life of the city? The humans that streamed like a river underneath him in the twisting streets?

He laughed at himself; for some reason, it was almost as if he was losing his mind.

Or was he trying to find the white that vanished without a trace?

What did it matter to him?

He glanced down at his jacket. It was the only trace left of that strange mirage. He traced his finger on the material; it felt unfamiliar and stiff even though he did not remember what he was expecting. He smirked at himself; here he was, complaining about an unfamiliar jacket when his life was so content!

He raised his hand to the zipper of his jacket. As warm as the jacket was, it wasn't him. It didn't feel normal in comparison to everything else. But what was normal?

Why was he asking himself so many strange questions?

He unzipped his jacket, only to reveal a ripped, bloodstained black shirt underneath.

He felt like he was punched in the stomach. He stumbled back, his legs shaking. What had happened to him? He took a second look and to his utmost surprise, it was gone. All there was underneath the jacket was a rosy-colored shirt, unmarred and perfectly clean.

He was starting to feel dizzy. Was that a hallucination as well? He placed a hand to his chest but felt no cuts or wounds underneath. He blinked several times, trying to clear his mind. He was positive that he had seen his own body wounded, but it was apparently completely unharmed.

He spun around wildly; he thought he heard something calling out to him. But when he moved, all he heard was the traffic down below. The hum of the engines, the car horns…nothing out of the ordinary.

But it was echoing in his ears like the wind. He turned around, searching for the source of the sound. He was completely alone on the rooftop, yet the voice was right in his ears and no matter where he went he could not escape from it.

_Iza-nii, Iza-nii…_

Wasn't that Kururi and Mairu? He narrowed his eyes, trying to find the mischievous twins on the roof with him, but without avail. They were never there. Weren't they supposed to be in his home, doing their homework and annoying Namie until their parents returned from their business trip?

_Izaya…_

He frowned at the strange voice that he could not automatically recognize. He was suddenly hit with a revelation.

Izaya, wasn't it?

He had forgotten his name until now.

* * *

Kururi was curled up in a chair next to Izaya's bed, staring at a speck of dust across the room. Mairu had a large cast encasing her leg. She sat on Izaya's bedside, her crutches propped against the wall. She couldn't bring herself to look at Izaya or even touch him; the most she could do was be near him. The two twins held hands; they were each other's lifeline.

Shinra normally would have urged the girls to leave the room and wait with Celty. It wasn't because they were being a bother; he normally had some sort of vindictive pleasure when leaving people in life-and-death suspense. However, he remained silent and consented to their presence. It wouldn't change anything if they left. Izaya was still unconscious. Nothing improved.

Celty silently entered the room. She held a tray with three cups of piping hot tea on it. She gave a cup to Mairu and Kururi, who wordlessly accepted it but did not take a sip. She offered the last one to Shinra, who gave her a wry smile.

"If you keep this up, you really would be like my housewife," he quipped lightly.

Celty would have punched him in the stomach if she wasn't holding a delicate cup full of extremely hot tea. Shinra took the cup from her, breathing in the scented steam. It gave him some sort of relaxation, albeit very little.

[Any change?] Celty asked.

"No," Shinra murmured. He checked Izaya's pulse; it was slow and quiet. "It has been nearly three days. He hasn't shown any sign of being…alive."

Celty typed something out at first, but changed her mind and erased it. It was one thing Shinra regretted about Celty's lack of ability to speak. She could keep so much more hidden than others, and he sometimes wondered how much of her thoughts she kept from him.

Celty turned toward Mairu and Kururi, bending down to their eye level and kindling giving them her PDA. [How are you feeling?] she asked them.

"Improve (We've been better)…" Kururi answered. Mairu didn't speak. She stared down at her reflection in the tea. The extroverted twin and the silent, emotionless twin had switched roles.

"Celty, may I speak with you?" Shinra asked. Celty nodded and took back her PDA, following Shinra out of the room. When Shinra closed the door, he let out a tired sigh.

"Have you found Yadogiri yet?" he asked Celty.

[If I did, don't you think I would have told you already?] Celty pointed out.

"Good point," Shinra chuckled. He took off his rectangular glasses and rubbed the lens with his lab coat. "Whatever Yadogiri did to Izaya and Mairu, it's got to have been bad."

[Do you have any leads as to what it may be?] asked Celty.

'Well…no," Shinra admitted a little awkwardly. "But Mairu knows. I'm definite about that. Unfortunately, she won't talk, and because of that—I can't help either of them."

[Is there any way we can help her out of her shock?] Celty asked worriedly.

"I'm a doctor, not a psychologist," Shinra said wearily. "I reckon I should treat it like post-traumatic stress disorder…some medication might do…I just don't like the idea of it."

[The idea of what?]

"Using pills for the mind," Shinra said. "Sure, pills could fix a headache or snivels or something of the like, but the mind is more complicated than that. It _controls_ all that. How can a simple pill fix something so complex? A generic pill, to be more exact. Everyone's mind is so different from each other—can the solution be the same for everyone? It's too simple!"

Celty nodded her neck, withholding her response. To Celty's wariness, Shinra's talk about minds almost reminded her of Izaya.

"I'm rambling aren't I?" Shinra smiled when Celty nodded in agreement. "I just wonder if that's the only way I can solve this."

Before Celty could respond, the door opened. Kururi burst into the room, her eyes wide with fear. She tugged Shinra's arm, pulling him toward the room. She wouldn't say what was wrong, so Shinra and Celty wordlessly followed her.

Izaya was still lying unconscious and motionless on the bed, but the machines around him were sounding loudly and frantically. At first, Shinra thought that the machines were malfunctioning until he realized what they were trying to tell him. Izaya's brain activity was so high that Shinra thought the lines would break through the screen because it wasn't big enough. His heart rate was rapid—not so frightening as a heart attack, but by the lines on the screen it almost seemed that Izaya was _afraid_.

"Is he waking up?" Shinra exclaimed, hurrying to his bedside. However, Izaya was not stirring and showed no sign of consciousness. His eyes were still closed and he remained immobile. He could easily have been mistaken as dead.

_Why isn't he awake?_ Shinra thought to himself as he studied Izaya's brain activity. Had it been any other situation, Izaya should have been awake considering how much his brain was working, and yet he was still in a stupor.

"Iza-nii," Kururi whispered, shaking Izaya. Izaya was as limp as a ragdoll. "Iza-nii, please…"

Shinra hurried to Izaya's side to check his breathing. It was still shaky and delicate, but there nonetheless.

"Izaya," Shinra urged, even though he knew his old friend would not respond. "Izaya, come on…"

In another world, Izaya dismissed the voices as his own imagination, sinking deeper and deeper into a nonexistent reality.


	10. Chapter 10

It was crawling inside of him.

He twisted and turned in his bed until he was tangled in his sheets. He gasped for air, his lungs tearing when warm air flooded them. He had been sleeping soundly when he was suddenly jolted awake by a tearing sensation in him, as if scorpions were inside of him and ripping him into pieces with their pincers.

He held his breath, trying to force the pain out of him. He pinched his wrist, convinced that it was a terrible dream and he could free himself of it if only—

He squeezed his eyes shut, silently screaming in his mind. He didn't understand why he felt this way. Was he ill? Out of his mind? He wouldn't question the latter if that was the case.

Tearing, ripping, scarring, teeth gnashing at his insides, destroying him from inside out—

_THERE WERE MONSTERS INSIDE OF HIM AND HE COULDN'T GET THEM OUT—_

He could feel it enter his body. It fought its way into him, armed with agony and repulsion, leaving muddy trails at its feet that made him feel revolting and sick. It felt like a dagger, but it was alive—alive and determined to kill him—

His eyes shot open and the pain vanished.

He lied still for a moment, letting his heart rate and his breathing slow down to normal. He closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead, frustrated at his silly human weakness. If he could deal with Shizu-chan's beatings all the time, a little cramp shouldn't have affected him so much.

He knew he was lying to himself.

He pushed himself back up to a sitting position. He had better check on Mairu and Kururi to make sure he hadn't awoken them during his spell. He ran a hand through his hair; his skin felt unnaturally warm as if he had a very high fever. He rubbed his eyes and swung his legs over the side of the bed. When he looked up, he realized he had absolutely no idea where he was.

This was not his bedroom.

He squinted in the darkness, trying to identify where he was. This wasn't his room at all. In fact, this wasn't even a bedroom in the first place. It was dark and empty except for him. The ground was cold and hard and there was a dim greenish light above his head.

It looked oddly familiar.

He stood up on his shaking legs. The blanket slipped off of him and when he bent down to pick it up, his fingers grazed the cold floor. The blanket was gone. Simply stopped existing.

He pinched himself harder on the wrist, but he would not wake up.

A scream pierced the air and he winced. There was no one else in the room, but he was certain that the scream was right next to him.

It sounded familiar.

It sounded like his voice.

He put a hand to his neck, as if to feel if his voice box was still reverberating after such a shout.

And suddenly, that crippling pain returned.

He fell to his knees, clenching his teeth to keep the scream from escaping his mouth. It wracked his entire body but he couldn't understand what it was or where it was coming from.

_A heavy weight on top of him—_

He was on the ground again, his cheek pressed against the icy cold floor.

_A girl's sobbing screams—_

He could force himself to not see, not hear, not speak, but he couldn't stop _feeling_. Something was attacking him but no matter how much he fought, he fought _nothing._

And then, in his mind, he could see everything.

He saw himself, but he was clothed in a black jacket instead of his white one. At the sight of it, familiarity returned to him, which struck him odd because he couldn't remember it. The person he saw in his mind was covered in blood and someone else was bent over him—too close, much too close. The lights were so dim he could barely see but he saw the ripped clothing and the discarded belt strewn across the floor.

He tried to open his eyes, to fill his mind with his surroundings instead of the horrible images in his head, but he couldn't stop seeing it. Were his eyes closed or open? Would it matter if he changed it? He tried to put his hands over his eyes but his limbs would not move. He couldn't stop watching himself be violated, attacked, _raped._

"STOP!" he screamed.

And it did.

He was back in his bedroom, twisted in his sheets on his bed. His heart beat frantically inside of him. He pressed a shaking hand on the lower half of his torso. It still stung and he held his breath.

Please let it be a dream.

He didn't care if it meant he was so weak as to be scared of his own mind.

Please don't let it be real.

_Izaya…_

He heard that name in his ears again. Instead of fondly remembering it, he blanched.

If Izaya was the one whom he saw raped in that room he was trapped in only moments ago, then he was not Izaya.

He couldn't be. He refused.

_That wasn't me._

_It wasn't real._

_It wasn't real…_

* * *

"Namie-san…?"

Shinra usually had unexpected guests show up at his front door, but he would have never suspected Yagiri Namie to ever appear before him, especially considering the series of events. The young woman stood stubbornly at his door, glaring at the doctor.

"Well?" Namie said sharply.

"Well…what?" Shinra said suspiciously.

"You know what I mean," said Namie. "Is that idiot still here or not?"

"Who, Izaya-kun?" Shinra said confusedly.

"I come back to his apartment for work and find it completely empty, and then I get this email from you that he's at your place for God knows why—?"

"Calm down!" Shinra shushed. He opened the door wider to admit Namie in. Namie raised an eyebrow doubtfully but stepped inside. Shinra watched her carefully, wondering how exactly to react to a member of the family his father had ties with.

"It's been practically a week now," Namie said. "What's going on?"

"Are you worried?" Shinra asked to his own amusement.

"No," Namie said very quickly. "But my paycheck is at stake, isn't it? With my employer strangely missing and all."

Shinra hesitated. Part of him wanted to hold back the truth; the truth felt too raw to him. It wasn't his sufferings to tell.

"Well?" Namie demanded. "Might as well tell me so I know whether or not I could take a vacation."

"Izaya's not going to be back for a while," Shinra said swiftly. "So you can go do whatever you like for who knows how long."

Namie raised her eyebrows. "Where is he?"

"What does it matter to you?" Shinra said lightly. "All you need to know is whether or not you can take time off your job."

"Stop fooling with me," Namie said harshly. "What's wrong with him? Where is he, anyway?"

"That's confidential, Yagiri-san," Shinra said. "I don't think that—"

"To hell with what you think," Namie interrupted. "I should know, shouldn't I? I'm his secretary. I can practically be considered his _mother_, seeing what I have to do for my job."

"I don't know," Shinra said weakly. "It's just…I don't think Izaya would want me to tell you."

"Why doesn't he come out and tell me straight up?" Namie said icily.

"Because he can't!" Shinra exclaimed.

Namie narrowed her eyes at Shinra before shoving him aside. She forced herself into every room of Shinra's apartment in search for Izaya. The slamming doors marked her trail. Shinra winced before hurrying toward her.

"Namie-san, don't!" Shinra cried out. "You're making a racket!"

"Then tell me where he is and what's wrong with him," Namie said immediately.

Shinra put his hand over his eyes, trying to clear his mind. Perhaps he could tell Namie what was wrong with Izaya, but not specifically what happened.

"All right, all right," Shinra said through clenched teeth. He let his hand fall to his side. "Will you stop slamming the doors now? You might wake the girls. They're finally getting some sleep."

"Mairu and Kururi?" asked Namie.

"Who else?" Shinra said tiredly. He halfheartedly led Namie to the room where he kept Izaya. He quietly opened the door; the room was dark and quiet, with only the dim beeping of a machine filling in the silence. Kururi and Mairu were curled up on either side of Izaya, fast asleep. Izaya would have looked like he too was merely taking a shuteye if it were not for the heavy bandages and the absolutely deadened face that showed neither emotion nor life.

Namie's eyes widened at the sight of her hated employer so vulnerable. She gave a sidelong glance at Shinra, who pursed his lips.

"He's in a coma of some sort," Shinra said after a while. "I don't know why though—"

"You don't know why?" she croaked. "Aren't you a doctor? How do you not know?"

"Look, I don't!" Shinra said, trying to keep his voice quiet so he wouldn't wake anyone up. "He lost a lot of blood and was injured pretty badly, but even then it shouldn't have caused a coma. I think—I think it's shock."

"Shock of what?" Namie said piercingly.

"I don't know!" Shinra exclaimed. "She knows—" He indicated Mairu, whose hands were intertwined with Kururi's and Izaya's. Though Kururi gripped back, Izaya's hand laid weakly on her fingers. "But she can't talk. She's in shock too, and I just…don't know how to help them."

"You're the worst doctor in the world," Namie hissed.

Shinra didn't reply. Namie pulled up a chair next to Izaya's bed without saying a single word or letting anything on her face betray her. She sat for a while in silence, her hands gripping her knees and her dark hair shielding her face. Shinra stood wordlessly in the room before turning toward the door to leave.

"How did this happen?" Namie suddenly asked.

Shinra hesitated. "Yadogiri Jinnai."

Namie's knuckles grew white. "The man Izaya had been keeping an eye on for a while."

She reached over and grazed her finger over Izaya's forehead, brushing stray strands of glossy black hair from his eyes. She withdrew her arm quickly as if she touched something hot before standing up abruptly.

"Don't tell him I came," she ordered Shinra. She turned toward him, her face unreadable. "If he…wakes up or something, send me a text, at least. So I can get my paycheck from him."

"Of course," Shinra said, leaving the room. Namie was at the doorway when she turned her head. She gazed mutely at Izaya, thoughts passing through her head that Shinra would never know. Before he could inquire or comfort, she closed the door of the room and walked out of the apartment without giving Shinra another glance.


	11. Chapter 11

"Mairu."

Mairu stared defiantly back at Shinra, her mouth still stubbornly shut. Shinra sighed lightly and leaned forward, interlocking his fingers.

"Look, Mairu …" Shinra said. "Are you—how are you feeling?"

She did not respond. He never expected her to. He just couldn't figure out what he was supposed to do. How was he supposed to force her to speak? Even the Raira Academy was so concerned that they phoned the actual hospital for help, but by then Mairu had already ran away from school to avoid going to the hospital.

"Mairu-san, you can trust me, you know," Shinra said. "Have you been sleeping better?"

She shrugged and did not take her eyes off of Shinra. She still kept her silence, as she did for the past six days.

Six days and Izaya showed absolutely no sign of life.

The doorbell rang and Shinra excused himself before answering the door. He hadn't left his apartment in hopes to revive Izaya for a week now.

When he opened the door, Celty immediately wrapped her arms around him. Shinra took a step back confusedly, but smiled to himself and returned the embrace. When they broke apart, Celty held up her PDA to his eyes.

[It looked like you needed that.]

Shinra laughed weakly before letting Celty in. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw who was following Celty into his apartment.

"I didn't expect you to be here, Shizuo-kun," Shinra said.

"You never do," grunted Shizuo, kicking the door closed behind him. "Where are the girls?"

"In Izaya's room," Shinra said, heading toward said bedroom. "Would you be able to resist the temptation of killing him?"

Shizuo looked rather hurt by the statement. "Do you think I'm a monster too, Shinra?"

Shinra shrugged. "Of course not." He led Shizuo and Celty into the bedroom. The lights were on and the machines put on silence so that the lines shivered but made no beeping noise. Mairu saw Shizuo walk through the door and she relaxed slightly. Shinra took the seat across from her and lowered his voice gently.

"Could you please—please tell us what happened that night in the Shimizu Warehouse?" Shinra asked.

She set her jaw and turned her gaze away from Shinra. She avoided eye contact with Shizuo.

"Where's Kururi?" asked Shizuo.

"She's in another room. She wanted some time alone," said Shinra. He turned back to Mairu. "I need to know, Mairu-san. I can't help Izaya unless I know what has happened to him."

Mairu narrowed her eyes suspiciously, but her silence would not budge. Shizuo stole a glance of Izaya. He looked no different from the last time he had came to see the flea; in other words, he looked almost dead. Chills ran down Shizuo's spine even though he had pictured and relished such a possibility for years.

"Izaya is not waking up," Shinra said firmly, "and I'm sure it has something to do with what is making you not talk. But I need to know what that—_thing—_is. You've got to help me get there."

Mairu shuddered and drew her limbs closer. A dark shadow grazed across her face and she gripped her fists. Shinra raised his eyebrows curiously at such a reaction.

"Are you angry at me, Mairu-san?" Shinra asked.

Mairu shook her head.

"Then who is it? Or what is it?"

Mairu shook her head even more vigorously. She clutched her arms protectively; her entire body was trembling as if cold. Shinra's eyes widened slightly with understanding before softening.

"Mairu…you don't blame yourself, do you?"

Mairu jumped at Shinra's words. She gawked at him with a mixture of fear and guilt. Shinra gently put a hand on hers and she recoiled; though Shinra was normally good with children, this was no ordinary situation.

"Mairu, none of it was your fault," Shinra urged. Shizuo nodded silently, pulling up a chair next to her. "And you won't get in trouble if you say anything. Kinnosuke-san is already hunting Yadogiri down. They're going to put him behind bars. He won't hurt anyone anymore."

Mairu lowered her head, clutching her hands until they grew mottled from lack of blood circulation.

"Kill…" she whispered.

Shinra gave a short gasp at her sudden utterance. She hunched her shoulders, squeezing her hands tightly.

"He ought to die instead," she said throatily. She raised her eyes to Shinra's; they were steely and also filled with tears. "He's a monster." She swallowed hard, her voice growing thinner. "I'm so—so cowardly."

Shinra and Shizuo didn't speak. They didn't need to. Mairu pressed a shaking hand to her lips. Celty took a seat next to her and held her close, providing as much comfort as she possibly could, Mairu stiffened at the touch of affection; no one outside of her family dared to show her friendliness. To the outside world, the Oriharas were cold, disconnected, _monsters_ even. Monsters did not suffer. Monsters did not need love.

"I didn't stop him," she choked. "I tried but I was too weak—I couldn't move—I was afraid Y-Yadogiri would hurt me again. I just sat there and _watched_—I didn't even scream for help. I just w-watched…"

Shizuo remembered when he had tried to call Izaya's phone number (why he even had the flea's number was a mystery to him; he reckoned it had something to do with high school and he never bothered to delete it from his list of contacts) and how Mairu cried out to him. He remembered Yadogiri shouting at someone to 'scream like you did only moments ago.' He remembered Yadogiri calling someone an animal, dirty, disgusting.

"He hurt Iza-nii," Mairu whispered. "He hurt him as if he was just an animal. He f-forced Iza-nii onto the ground and—and he t-took advantage of Iza-nii—"

Shinra's face grew very pale. Even Celty tightened her grip around Mairu suddenly when realization dawned on her. Mairu's bottom lip quivered before she buried her face in her hands.

"He raped Iza-nii!" she choked out, her voice tight and desperate. "He hurt Iza-nii and now Iza-nii won't wake up and it's my fault because I—I couldn't stop him and I just let it happen—"

Shizuo didn't even know what he was doing until he kneeled next to Mairu, hugging her tight. Mairu jolted at the sudden embrace, but she buried her face in Shizuo's broad shoulder. She wept on him, her nails digging into his back.

"I didn't do anything!" she moaned. "I didn't do anything to help! I didn't do anything!"

"It wasn't your fault at all, Mairu," Shinra said softly, holding her hand in his shaking one. "I understand you. It wasn't your fault."

"I saw Iza-nii's knife across the r-room," Mairu wailed. "I could have taken it and killed Yadogiri. I could've stopped him. But I was too scared of him. I was too weak. He hurt me, he hurt Iza-nii, he hurt us—"

"God_dammit_." Shizuo was on his feet. His head was bowed and his face unreadable, but his clenched fists were shaking. When he spoke, he spoke through clenched teeth. "If that Kinnosuke guy doesn't find Yadogiri, I will myself. And I'll exact justice on him _myself_. I know what you're thinking," he said sharply to Shinra, who opened his mouth to speak. "Why would I want to kill him if I want to kill Izaya? Dammit, the flea is the worst human being on Earth, but even _animals_ don't deserve that. A _murderer_ doesn't even deserve that. Yadogiri's scum, and I don't mind violence against scum."

"Don't, Shizuo," Shinra said in a low voice.

"Don't what? Give the piece of shit what he deserves?" Shizuo said fiercely. "Don't stop him from hurting other people? Don't do what you're dying to do yourself?"

[Don't become like Yadogiri Jinnai!] Celty shoved the PDA atShizuo. [Don't you understand? Yadogiri and the Awakusu-kai have been battling each other, revenge after revenge.] She cleared the message and swiftly typed out a new one. [Why do you think Yadogiri attacked the Oriharas in the first place? It all goes back to revenge.] She swiped away the old message and typed again. [If you seek revenge on him, he will only return the favor later. And the pattern will never end. More people will get hurt. It can't go on like this.]

"Then what are we supposed to do?" Shizuo barked. "Hell, I hate Izaya, but seeing him like this—I hate myself even more for not doing anything about it! I hate letting people get away with violence! How am I supposed to let Yadogiri walk free?"

[Kinnosuke will find him!] Celty insisted. [Please, Shizuo. Enough people we know have gotten hurt. You've already had a bullet to your shoulder.]

"Do you really think I would be weakened by something like that?" Shizuo growled.

[I can't let anyone else I know get hurt.] Shadows wrapped around Celty's PDA and it disappeared from her hand as if the case was rested.

Shizuo shook his head, but he did not voice any protest. He hated Yadogiri for changing his old reality. He couldn't stand seeing Mairu so guilt-ridden, Kururi so distant, Izaya so—_broken. _

It almost made him not hate Izaya as much.

And such a thought made Shizuo know that nothing would be the same.

* * *

He knew he was being the worst person in the world, but it was so tempting.

He was playing on the streets by himself, kicking around soft drink cans or pebbles or anything that would entertain him, which was anything. The incidents on the roof and that one night were hidden from his mind; things were like they always were.

He looked up and his lips curled into a familiar smile. The familiar blond man in the bartender suit was just down the street. He started out skipping toward this man, and after a while he broke into a run. His fingers curled around his flickblade as he reached out toward Shizuo, about to grab him, break into a fight, and tease him like usual…

Shizuo suddenly turned around, grabbing Izaya's wrist so quickly that he didn't have time to react. Izaya tried to pull back, but Shizuo's grip was too stubborn. He expected Shizuo to flip him over, or swing him around like a bat before hurling him into the air. However, Shizuo did nothing of these sorts. He kept very still, his grip tightened around Izaya's wrist.

"Shizu-chan, have you adopted a new tactic?" Izaya said playfully, his thumb poised to flick his blade out. "Will you wave me around like a broke rag doll?"

Shizuo didn't speak. Izaya noticed that there was something a little odd about Shizuo. His face was so pale that it almost seemed translucent, and the expression on it was much too calm, much too collected. Normally at this time he would be screaming at the top of his lungs and throwing extremely heavy objects at Izaya's head, but all he did now was watch him.

"Can no longer talk, can you, Shizu-chan?" sang Izaya. "Has your miniscule brain finally broken down?"

"I'm not Shizuo," Shizuo said calmly.

Izaya let out a bark of laughter. "Your brain really has imploded on you, hasn't it? Or do you think that just because you claim you aren't Shizu-chan, I would leave you alone?"

"I'm not Shizuo," Shizuo repeated, just as serenely as before.

"Then tell me who I am, why don't you?" Izaya teased. "Do you still hate me if you are no longer Shizu-chan?"

"You are Orihara Izaya," Shizuo said. "But you do not belong here."

"Ah, shall you launch into your ridiculous soliloquy again?" Izaya grinned. "'Get your ass out of 'Bukuro!' or something like that."

"You don't understand," Shizuo said softly, shaking his head. "This isn't Ikebukuro. This isn't even real."

Izaya cocked his head curiously at Shizuo. He secretly flicked the blade out behind his back. "Well, aren't you quite the joker today?"

"I know more than you give me credit," Shizuo said emotionlessly.

"I admit, sometimes you're quite sharp for an idiot, but you haven't really given me any reason to think otherwise."

"Two nights ago you thought you heard your secretary Yagiri Namie calling out to you, but you were alone in your apartment at that time," Shizuo said efficiently.

"Apparently I wasn't, if you knew that," Izaya said coolly, remembering that one night where he was chatting on the Dollars online chat when he thought he heard Namie say his name, but found himself completely alone. He raised the knife, ready to strike. "You're not becoming a stalker, are you?"

"Several days ago, you were on the rooftop of the skyscraper in Ikebukuro and you thought you could hear voices saying your name. These were the voices of your sisters and Kishitani Shinra," Shizuo said swiftly. "You also thought you saw your body torn, stabbed, and bleeding, but with a second glance all of this was gone."

Izaya's eyes widened and he lowered the knife in surprise. "Oh? And where were you during all of this?"

"Four nights ago, you were in unbearable pain for half the night until you had a dream—or a hallucination—that you were in the top floor of the Shimizu warehouse," Shizuo continued, his voice gradually rising until it was the only thing Izaya could hear. His surrounded blurred into meaningless color, and he began to fear that he really wasn't where he thought he was, "watching an unknown figure raping another while Orihara Mairu screamed in the background, and you couldn't stop forcing yourself to watch—"

The blade slipped from Izaya's fingers; he expected to hear it clatter on the ground, but to his shock it completely disappeared. Everything disappeared. He and Shizuo were lost in the world of white. The scenes of Ikebukuro were washed off of the world, leaving the blank and worthless canvas. He wrenched his arm out of Shizuo's grasp and took several steps back, his heart suddenly racing.

"How do you know that?" Izaya demanded hoarsely.

"I am part of you," Shizuo said.

Izaya would have laughed at the ridiculousness, but he was completely frozen. He stared blankly at Shizuo before shaking his head.

"You're mad," he said, forcing himself to chuckle. "Where are we, Shizu-chan? What are you doing to me?"

"I am not Heiwajima Shizuo," Shizuo reminded Izaya. "I'm only a creation of your mind. All of Ikebukuro is not real. Nothing here is."

Izaya gaped at Shizuo. "You're pulling my leg, aren't you? You can't possibly tell me—tell me that my entire life was not real."

"It was real. Part of it. But what you see here, now, and for the past week—it was only your mind playing tricks on you," Shizuo—or who was he?—said.

Izaya shook his head even more vigorously. He wanted to deny it, forget about this entire situation and go back to trying to kill Shizuo, but he couldn't bring himself to try. This Shizuo knew about his nightmare; this couldn't have been normal.

"Then what is it?" Izaya said, almost mockingly. "What's the meaning of all this? Is this secretly Hell? Why am I trapped in wonderland?"

"Because you're lying to yourself."

Izaya suddenly had the urge to strike Shizuo. He didn't move, however. He kept his jaw set and his eyes locked on Shizuo.

"You wanted to hit me," Shizuo said as-a-matter-of-factly.

Izaya clenched his teeth. "I always want to kill you. That's a given."

"You wouldn't kill me," Shizuo said lightly. "You know deep in your heart if you were given the chance, you wouldn't kill me. You'd be too bored. You couldn't bring yourself to kill anyone. You're so afraid of death that you wouldn't want to subject others to it—"

Izaya struck Shizuo in the chin. He wanted to break that jaw that spilled out all his secrets and fears into the open. However, as his knuckles made contact with Shizuo's face, his fist actually went through Shizuo's head as if Shizuo was made of smoke. He lost his balance and fell, but somehow Shizuo was solid enough to catch him before he collapsed. Izaya fought out of Shizuo's grasp, his blood rushing in his ears.

"What is going on?" Izaya breathed. "What happened? Where am I, if this isn't real? And why?"

The look on Shizuo's face looked almost sad. It unnerved Izaya to no end. Could the real Shizuo read Izaya's mind as easily as this one did?

"You are in denial. The real you," Shizuo said evenly.

"The real me," Izaya repeated faintly.

Shizuo nodded. "This body you are in right now is not who you are. Your real body is lying on a bed in Kishitani Shinra's apartment, hooked to machines that are trying to save your life."

Izaya felt as if he was punched in the stomach. His hand flew to his chest and he could almost feel the deep welt in it where a bullet stabbed him.

"Why?" he asked. The memory of his nightmare in the empty dark room and the unbearable pain returned to him, and he knew that he knew the answer before Shizuo had to say anything. Shizuo did not speak; he only bowed his head slightly, as if assuring Izaya that what he had feared was the truth. Izaya felt the blood rush out of his head and he immediately felt dizzy.

"That wasn't me," he said feverishly. "It can't have been me. I don't _want _it to be me. No—" He raised his eyes desperately to Shizuo, the figment of his imagination. "Nothing changed. Nothing hurt me. Life was always normal. I wouldn't have—I can't have—"

"You cannot deny it, Orihara Izaya," Shizuo said. The more Izaya looked at him, the less like Shizuo he became. He became more translucent, calmer, his voice changed, his face changed, everything was not the same. "Nine forty-five PM on April seventh, you realized that Yadogiri Jinnai had kidnapped your sisters in order to exact revenge on you."

The more Shizuo spoke, the quicker the memories came to Izaya, and he wanted nothing more than to block it out. He lived through it all over again; he heard the taunting phone call in the middle of the black night. He felt the fear pump in his heart.

"Nine fifty-five, you called your courier Celty to aid you in saving Mairu and Kururi."

"I know I did," Izaya said hollowly.

"Ten o'clock, you and Celty started in separate ways to save each sister."

"Stop it."

"Ten twenty-three PM, you reached the Shimizu Warehouse where Yadogiri kept your sister, only to realize that it was all a trap."

"Do you really think I forgot?" Izaya spat in a strangled voice.

"Ten twenty-eight PM, they began to beat you."

Pain shot through him. Stabs. Kicks. Punches. Izaya felt more and more lightheaded.

"Ten fifty-eight, Yadogiri ordered all his men to leave the room."

No. Don't say it. Izaya knew how the story would end, but he wanted to rip the pages out, burn them, and rewrite everything. He put his hands over his ears.

"Eleven o'clock, your sister tried to attack him to protect you—"

"Shut up, shizuo," Izaya said through clenched teeth

"He beats her until she can barely move—"

"Leave me alone, Shizuo—"

"Eleven fifteen, he turns his attention back to you—"

"Shizuo, don't—"

"—and he begins to—"

"I KNOW!" Izaya shouted. Shizuo silenced immediately. Izaya squeezed his eyes tight, his knees buckling under him and his hands shaking. He sank to his knees, trying to breathe normally again. The truth flooded him until it nearly drowned him. He was shaking terribly and he looked so pitiful that he was disgusted with himself even more. "I know…"

All of it was a façade. A fake reality he tried to convince himself was real so that he would not confront reality. The truth that he had let his sisters be tortured, that he had let himself be reduced to meat. He bit down so hard on his lip it was beginning to bleed.

"I know I'm lying to myself," Izaya said, chuckling in spite of himself. "I know I have to give up. It was all fake. None of it was real. I've got to go back."

"You don't have to."

Izaya looked up suddenly at that statement. He stared up at Shizuo incredulously and suspiciously.

"You don't have to go back. This can become real. You wouldn't have to ever be raped. You could continue living as you did. Everything would be normal again."

Izaya rose to his feet slowly, narrowing his eyes at Shizuo suspiciously. Inside, however, his heart quivered with hope. Was there really a way to erase the past? To go back and change everything?

"How?" Izaya asked.

"Die."


	12. Chapter 12

Wait.

That was all they could do, wasn't it?

Sit there and wait.

Silently.

Unsurely.

Fearfully.

Shizuo was in an inner turmoil as he just _sat_ there, staring at his enemy and trying to hate him. Why was it suddenly so hard to have that burning desire to strangle or beat Izaya to death, or watch him get hit by a truck, or anything? Shizuo had always trusted hate far more than he trusted love. From what he saw around him, love was fragile and demanding, suspicious of betrayal and when it died, everything crumbled. Hate, on the other hand, was so blinding and passionate that nothing could ever make it waver.

Until now.

He rested his elbows on his knees and lowered his head, staring at the blue carpet. It was just him and Izaya in the room; Celty took Mairu and Kururi for a breath of fresh air outside of the choking dismalness of Shinra's apartment while Shinra was taking a well-deserved rest after tending to his patients for so long. Shinra never requested Shizuo to keep watch of Izaya, probably thinking that Shizuo would either leave immediately or end Izaya's suffering right then and there, but Shizuo lingered anyway.

Why? He wasn't so sure.

It wasn't like he _wanted_ to be here, but he was glued to the chair in Izaya's room anyway.

Waiting for something.

Anything.

But he knew that he should expect nothing. Nothing was all that they received for days.

Shizuo scooted his chair closer to Izaya's bedside. The person on the bed hooked up to machines was not Orihara Izaya. This person had suffered and was a victim of inhumanity. Orihara Izaya would never be in such a situation. Izaya was the bully, not the tragic hero. Izaya was the troublemaker, the knavish sprite that forever taunted Ikebukuro. Izaya should be out in the city right now, laughing as the world crumbled around him, not within him.

"I-za-ya," Shizuo said quietly to himself. The name felt strange to say when Izaya was right in front of him. He rarely ever called Izaya by his name. He let an exasperated sigh escape from his lips. He ought to leave. He should be catching up on sleep so that he wouldn't slack on the job with Tom tomorrow. Why did he make himself stay behind? Would Izaya even do the same for him if the roles were reversed? Shizuo chuckled at the thought; it was almost too impossible.

But he immediately quieted when he remembered the situation that had brought Izaya here in the first place. Had Izaya really been as cruel as Shizuo had always thought, Izaya wouldn't have tried so hard to save his sisters, would he?

Shizuo finally managed to push himself out of the chair, the muscles in his legs creaking from sitting still so long. He made his way to the table at the side of the room and poured himself a cup of water from a pitcher that Shinra had left some odd hours ago. He downed the cold drink in one gulp, but the iciness of it sickened him. It was neither refreshing nor cleansing; it almost tasted bitter. He nearly gagged as he dropped the cup back onto the table. Everything was sickening. This room, this situation, even he was sickening.

He dragged himself back to Izaya's bedside and rested his head against the wall. He closed his eyes, trying to put this mind to rest and forget about his confused hatred.

When he opened his eyes, he saw Izaya crying.

Izaya did not make any sign of life. He still lied lifelessly on the bed, his face ghastly pale and blank. His fragile breathing rate did not even change, but there were tears seeping out of the corner of his eyes and running down his temples.

"Izaya?" Shizuo said uncertainly.

Izaya made no response. He was a broken porcelain doll, shattered beyond repair. He was crumbling before Shizuo's eyes and Shizuo did not know how to react. Shizuo never even knew that Izaya even had the ability to cry. He had convinced himself that Izaya was heartless, but now Izaya proved that he did indeed have a heart, by breaking it.

Shizuo reached out to brush the tears away from Izaya's face, but they wouldn't stop running. He looked as if he was just asleep yet he cried and cried until it made Shizuo's heart hurt. Izaya could not hear him or see him or feel him. Shizuo could provide no comfort; all he could do was wipe the tears away from Izaya's eyes.

"Why?" Shizuo breathed. His teeth were clenched and his hands were shaking. This wasn't the way things were supposed to be. Shizuo was never supposed to see his enemy, his hated foe, in such pain and suffering that he was reduced to tears. His fingers curled around Izaya's bony wrist and he felt himself shaking. "Stop crying, Izaya—why can't you just wake up?" His jaws hurt as he bit down too hard. "Why can't all this just stop? Stop!"

There was no grin to infuriate him, no trick to irritate him, no laughter to evoke his adrenaline rush. As Shizuo stared down at Izaya crying but not waking up, he felt absolutely helpless.

"I can't help you!" Shizuo cried out. No matter what, he knew he couldn't do anything. He was a monster, a violent creature that could only destroy and not mend. "I don't know what to do! I can't—I can't _do_ anything…"

Izaya wept silently, and it broke Shizuo down piece by piece.

* * *

The words seemed to banish all thoughts from Izaya's mind. He gawked at Shizuo, trying to get a grasp of what Shizuo meant.

"What do you mean, I have to die?" Izaya asked.

"It's so simple," Shizuo said monotonously. "With death, you can escape that pain. You will never have to deal with it again. Everything for you would be the way you want it to be. The same everyday life you relished here. Your kidnap and suffering will no longer exist to you."

"Is that's what on the other side of death?" Izaya's voice was both mirthful and desperate. How did he know that was the truth? For so long he had feared death, regarded it as absolute nothingness and proof that everything he did, everything he thought and everything he felt, was absolutely meaningless. "I could erase what has happened to me, just like that? Just by ending my life? To think that everyone could escape their problems just by taking their life! Is that why so many people are desperate to off themselves?"

Shizuo did not make a remark. Izaya suddenly felt frustration burn him. He balled his hands into fists, forcing himself not to attack. Any other time he would have gladly fought Shizuo, but he knew that it was fruitless here.

"This is so in character!" Izaya said bitterly. "Of course you would tell me the only way to solve my problem is to die. You've wanted me to die all your life. You hate me—despise me—what more should I have expected from you?"

"I told you, I am not Shizuo," Shizuo said testily. "Listen to me, Izaya."

Izaya took in a deep breath and kept his silence. He watched Shizuo suspiciously. Shizuo bowed his head and spoke much more calmly and quietly.

"Is this what you want, Orihara Izaya?" Shizuo said seriously. "How much do you hate what has happened to you?"

Izaya's mouth and throat was extremely dry. "What do you expect me to say?" he said softly. "That I enjoyed every minute of it?" Just the possibility of those words made him want to throw up. "I hate it. I hate how I was reduced to just meat. I hate how my sisters had to watch all that. I hate everything about it. But…" He stared at his feet. "How would dying…make anything better?"

"Everything would be over," Shizuo said calmly. "You will no longer have to deal with that pain anymore. It would be irrelevant to you. It will no longer touch you. Death is the best protector."

"But what about Mairu and Kururi?" asked Izaya. "What about them?"

Shizuo did not speak at first. He exhaled deeply. "That would be irrelevant to you."

"Irrelevant? It's completely relevant!" Izaya said. "What will happen to them?"

"To you, everything would be all right for everyone," Shizuo said cryptically.

"What do you mean?" asked Izaya anxiously.

"You won't have to suffer anymore," Shizuo said. "You will have no more fears, pain, sorrow, anything. You'll be free."

Izaya felt a chill run down his spine. He hated the idea of death, feared it, did everything to avoid it…and now it offered itself as his savior. He could hear the screams and remember the excruciating pain that haunted him.

_Don't want…_

_Please don't let that be me._

_I'm nothing if I return._

_Scum. _

_Monster. _

_Animal._

Would reality matter to him if he was dead? Even if everything that happened had happened, would it change anything in death? It would be true, wouldn't it? He wouldn't have to live with the shame, fear, and the pain anymore. Could it possibly be any worse than reality?

It tempted him.

For the first time, he wanted to welcome death.

He reached out to Shizuo, as if willing to accept the offer, but then something stopped him.

The sound of sobbing.

He froze in confusion, his fingers inches away from Shizuo's. He couldn't recognize that voice, but it rang in his ear. He gazed up perplexedly at Shizuo, wondering if he heard the same noise as well.

"What is that?" Izaya demanded.

"That isn't you," Shizuo said noncommittally.

"Then who is it?" Izaya asked.

"Someone outside of this world," Shizuo said ambiguously.

Izaya tried to listen harder, wondering if it was one of the twins. The voice was distant, not unlike the voices he heard days ago when he thought he was hallucinating. However, it was one that he hadn't heard before. Not in a long time.

"Who is it?" Izaya repeated.

"What do you choose?" Shizuo said. His eyes were blank and calm, no longer glinting with anger or passion like Izaya was so used to.

Izaya clenched his teeth. What would happen either way? He could no longer stay in this world now that he knew the truth. He must take a path.

"Who would want you to live anyway?"

Izaya looked up immediately at the harsh words. However, Shizuo was no longer with him. Izaya was completely alone in the colorless universe. Izaya spun around, trying to locate the source of the sound, but all he met was nothingness.

"Who needs you to live?"

Izaya felt a chill crawl down his spine. The voice no longer sounded like Shizuo's. It sounded almost like his own voice.

"Why would anyone want you to live?"

Izaya could not speak back, for it was his own voice tempting him with a serpent's tongue.

"You're alone, aren't you?"

_Why are you doing this?_ Izaya thought to himself, clutching his arms. He knew that this was no new news; this was in the back of his mind for a while.

"Don't tell me you're so conceited as to think someone would actually _want_ you to come back," laughed the invisibility.

The crying was lessening until it was barely a whisper overlapped by the harsh truth.

"Wouldn't it be so much easier to just let everything go?" The voice was seductive with enticement.

"You can no longer be hated anymore."

"You can no longer be alone anymore."

"You can no longer be destroyed anymore."

"You can no longer be defeated anymore."

Izaya almost could no longer hear the weeping anymore.

Almost.

* * *

Shizuo did not know what to do.

Suddenly the machines in the room began to wail as well. They beeped frantically as if trying to tell Shizuo something, but he couldn't understand their language. Izaya's heart rate was frantic and desperate, the lines on the machine shuddering; Shizuo could almost hear Izaya's heart gasping for breath as if it was drowning. Izaya's brain activity looked as if it was in absolute inner turmoil. The lines on the screen were writhing in pain but Izaya showed none of this. He could only cry silently in his sleep, slipping away from this world.

"What's going on?" Shizuo cried as he rushed to the machines, trying to figure out what he could possibly do to help. There was no manual, no instructions, no button to press to magically make everything better again. He turned back to Izaya and as much as he hated to admit to himself, his heart was cracking at the sight of Izaya's silent tears. He automatically reached out to him, grabbing his hand. No one was here to witness this besides him. Once this was over, this scene would no longer exist to anyone but him, and he could live with that. He hated Izaya, but inside he didn't want Izaya to think he was alone, even if he was completely shut away from this world.

"It'll be okay, all right?" Shizuo said roughly. He was shaking all over; his voice was shaking, his hand was shaking, his entire body was shaking. Was he afraid? If he was, what was it? When the moment when Izaya could just vanish from the world, why did Shizuo hesitate?

"Stop crying, flea," Shizuo croaked, brushing the tears from Izaya's face. He could barely recognize his own voice when he said those words. "Come on, stop it. Wake up."

After years of desiring to kill Izaya, Shizuo was now begging for his life.

"Wake up, you damn flea," Shizuo said in a strangled voice. "Wake up for Kururi. For—for Mairu."

_For me—_

His grip tightened on Izaya's limp hand. He suddenly sensed a change in the cries of the machine. He looked up and realized with shock that Izaya's heart rate was weakening. The lines were quivering feebly, his heart beating barely enough to survive. Shizuo's blood ran cold at the sight of it.

"Why?" Shizuo could barely raise his voice. He held Izaya's hand so tightly that his other hand felt empty without anything to grasp to. "I know you, flea. You're strong. You could pull through this. Hell, I throw everything within my reach at you and you still spring back up again." He lowered his head, trying to hide from the world even if the world did not even bother for him. "If you die, what the hell am I supposed to do?" He laughed shakily in spite of himself. "Hunt down someone else? What are your sisters going to do?"

He didn't understand himself anymore. His emotions, thoughts, love and hate, it was all breaking down before him and he knew they would never be put back in the same way after this.

"Don't you dare die, Izaya," he breathed. "Don't you dare—dare leave."

The flow of tears from Izaya's eyes lessened, yet tears still dotted the white sheets.

* * *

Izaya closed his eyes, trying to block out the world he was trapped in. He couldn't breathe; was he already dying?

"Do you have a purpose even if you live?"

The voice no longer spoke to him. It was echoing inside of him, seeping into his mind and blood and echoing in his bones. It was outside of him and inside of him, devouring every inch of him.

What would he do if he survived?

He cracked an ironic smile to himself.

The only people he could think of that wouldn't mind him surviving were Mairu and Kururi, but they still had each other. They could still stay strong without him, couldn't they? Everyone would be all right without him in the world, wouldn't they…?

"How do I die?" he whispered to himself.

Was it as simple as falling asleep?

Would anyone notice?

_Choking, tearing, wracking sobs—_

He opened his eyes but he saw nothing. But he could hear a soul, a heart, a life other than his own.

"Is that you, Mairu? Kururi?" Izaya spoke to nothing. "Who are you?"

The sky—or whatever it was—began to rain. He reached out to touch the drops, and they soothed him when they touched him.

"Why are you crying?" Izaya whispered.

Was he still dying?

He felt himself slowly be drained. Was the rain himself pouring out until he was completely hollow?

_Please don't die._

What?

Izaya blinked confusedly at the sudden plea. He couldn't tell who it was. He knew it wasn't himself. The voice sounded so familiar yet…he couldn't tell who it was.

_Wake up._

_It isn't fair._

"Who are you?" Izaya whispered. He felt his heart skip a beat at those words. Who was this ghost that wanted him to live? Did such a person even exist?

The rain fell harder as the sobs grew louder. It drenched Izaya from head to toe, but it did not freeze him. He felt dizzy and weak, and his legs threatened to give out under him.

Was it his imagination?

He couldn't tell, but he was suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to know who this person was.

"Don't misunderstand."

The voice—his voice's doppelganger—rang out, trying to drown out the pitter-patter of the rain.

"What good is there if you return?"

"How in the world can you heal?"

"How can anything return to normal?"

Things didn't have to be normal. Nothing ever was the same. Wasn't that life?

_Please don't die, Izaya._

The voice grew more and more familiar, but it sounded so heartbroken. Izaya gazed down at his stained hands. Was it okay? Was it all right?

"I'm sorry," Izaya said quietly. He looked up, letting his hands fall to his sides. He craned his neck so that he faced the sky, the raindrops caressing his cheeks. "I don't know who you are, but I'm sorry."

The rain sang in response.

"I'm sorry, but I want to be selfish one more time," he said.

The world seemed to swirl and morph around him. He stared up at the sky like a child gazing up at an elder. He knew that the choice he wanted would only truly benefit himself. It would neither seriously hurt nor bless anyone, but he wanted to know.

That someone out there wanted him for reasons he would never know. He wanted to lay his eyes on this one person that despite everything, would ask Izaya to come back.

"I don't want to die."

And everything suddenly became pitch black.

* * *

All of a sudden, he felt something solid underneath him.

The sensation shocked him. He had just been floating in nothingness earlier, and now he could feel the soft yet firm _something_ underneath him. He could barely move and he didn't even have the strength to open his eyes. The pain was gone. The rain was gone, yet his face felt rather wet. He could hear faint beeping in the room.

There was something on his hand.

He tried to move his fingers, but he couldn't. He felt something calloused but warm squeeze his fingers together. The grip was tight but comforting. He couldn't tell what it was, so he mustered up his strength just to graze his thumb across what was in his hand.

It tightened immediately. It almost hurt.

It was so warm here.

He almost felt happy.

He finally was able to open his eyes.

The light blinded him after being immersed in darkness for so long. Everything was hazy to him and it made him feel rather dizzy. He turned his head slightly to see a figure beside him. His heart turned when he realized who it was.

"Shizu-chan?" he whispered.

Shizuo looked up, his eyes wide with surprise. Izaya's heart skipped a beat when he saw that Shizuo's eyes were red and gleaming. It nearly stopped when he realized that the rain, the sobbing, the pleas were all from Heiwajima Shizuo.

Before Izaya could even get over the shock, Shizuo reached out and held him tight. Izaya was so frail in Shizuo's arm that he could have been snapped in half, but Shizuo was as careful and gentle as he could possibly muster. Izaya didn't know how to react except with shock at the fact that his sworn enemy was hugging him like a delicate doll. He couldn't move his arms or speak; he felt too weak for even that.

"Thank God—" Shizuo's voice was strangled and muffled. "You didn't die—thank God—not allowed to do that—not without my permission—" He took in a deep breath and coughed; his throat was so tight. "Don't do that again—dammit—only I'm allowed to kill you, you hear?"

Izaya almost chuckled weakly in spite of himself. Here Shizuo was, trying to stay the tough monster everyone thought he was, yet he was crying for his hated enemy. Could monsters really have such compassion? It shouldn't be possible for them, but Heiwajiima Shizuo proved the world wrong. Either monsters did have hearts, or perhaps Heiwajima Shizuo was never one to begin with.

Izaya knew that though he denied it in the past, he always knew that the latter was the truth.

"Shizu-chan…" Izaya managed to breathe out. He managed to beam into Shizuo's shoulder so that no one would see. It was so much to take in—too much to take in—that it almost seemed too perfect. He pulled his arms around Shizuo, his hands clutching the back of his black vest as if afraid to let go.

Shizuo claimed to hate him, and yet he showed Izaya a love that Izaya never expected or experienced; a love that everyone had for one another that nothing could break. A love of humans, of people, of _him_.

And as Shizuo embraced Izaya, hiding his tears and muttering threats under his breath, Izaya hid his face into Shizuo's shoulder and loved.

_Shizu-chan is so unpredictable._


End file.
